This post is *that* post....

[tabaqui]

This doesn't happen often here, i know, 'cause i tend to be oblivious to most LJ wank, kerfuffles and explosions. But i happened to step right into this one, so i felt like i should speak up.



Yes, thenyxie is on my flist. Yes, i saw her first post about all this and posted a comment in support of her. My impression from her post was 'anonymous people in this anonymous hate meme are slandering me/my SO! Wincon has banned me over it!!'

Which seemed monstrously unfair and hinky and *weird*. And i said, in essence - 'i sure as hell hope the Wincon people have some kind of proof besides anonymous gossip! And they better pony up!'

Now, yes, that reads *very poorly*. My bad. I did not, do not, and will not ever advocate the 'outing' of people who have been assaulted or attacked. Unless you're sitting in a witness box in a court of law, you are not obliged to stand on a street corner and shout to the world that you have been attacked. I really envisioned and hoped that the Wincon people and Nyxie would privately get together online and explain the situation without revealing the names of anyone who didn't feel okay being public. If you're accused of something, you *do* have the right to the details of the accusations, though not a list of names so you can 'sue' anyone, or sic lawyers on them.

I now know many more details, and am...not happy at all with how this was presented, or how it played out. I will not delete my comments, because they're mine and i own them, but i did want to make clear my 'stance', for lack of a better word.

I'll talk about this, if you think it needs more talking. Myself, i don't want people driven off LJ with flaming torches and pitchforks, any more than i want them driven away from a convention because they're afraid of what might happen.

What i want is for people - myself included - to stop and think before they talk, and make sure they have all the facts first. I know i should have.

Comments

[tabaqui]

Thanks for speaking up! I don't enjoy being wrong, but hey - there's no point in pretending i *can't* be, you know?
*hugs back*

[tabaqui]

Thank you!

[girlguidejones.livejournal.com]

Wonderful! I am so happy. :) Thank YOU!

*clings*

[texanfan.livejournal.com]

All you are guilty of is believing someone who was your friend and supporting them. My first instinct certainly wouldn't have been to check out their story.

I'm very sad that this kerfluffle has hurt so many of my lj friends.

[bendtothesun.livejournal.com]

*fist-bump*

It happens because everyone is a human being (...one assumes) and like it's ingrained from day one essentially that you stick up for your friends. Sometimes that's great and sometimes it bites you in the ass and I love how you're willing to go, oh my bad and apologize. I'm not sure I'd be brave enough to do that.

Thanks for being so fantastically brave and awesome. I love every minute you're on my flist. :)

[tabaqui]

Dude, no. I'm not like...silently seething or anything. What went down was ugly and hurtful and just...yarrgh. Horrifying. And the ripples of things as stupid as my ill-considered post hit *way* too many people.

And that? Makes me extremely unhappy. So this is, quite literally, the least i could do.

But i'm glad you're back. :)

[tabaqui]

Yeah, it's amazingly sucky, isn't it?

And i'm not sorry that my fist instinct is to defend a friend. I won't ever apologize or feel bad for that. But.

Thought before action, in all things. Let these be my watchwords! :)

[tabaqui]

Heeee! Yes, all human here, no funny extra bits. :)

I really couldn't *not* say something, you know? I mean - what would my mother say? I dislike being wrong as much as the next person, but i am surely *capable* of being wrong - i can't even imagine trying to pretend otherwise.

Thanks for being here! :)

[rainkatt.livejournal.com]

::hugs::

Well said.

[tabaqui]

Thank you. :)

[roxymissrose.livejournal.com]

wuff. I know that was hard to do--but typical of you. You don't back down from the right thing to do.

I've been following this--at first I shied away, but there was so much of it, and so many people were expressing pain that I wanted to know what the truth was. My first impulse was the same as yours but as more information became available, it became clear who was acting in a way less than stellar manner. You know me kid, I can make some stunning mistakes and there are many many times I don't get it--I rely on my friends to nudge me in the right direction--but this? After hearing all sides, it was abundantly obvious who 'wasn't getting it'.

You're a truly decent person and I'm glad to know you.

[tabaqui]

*hugs you tight*
Thank you, bay-bee. This was and is a big, ugly mess, but there's no reason that i have to keep contributing to it, you know?

I spoke up, i was directed to credible information that proved me wrong - i am wrong. I really hate that it got so vicious and ugly *so fast*, but...yeah.

No way i could just let that stuff stay out there without speaking up.
*luffs you*

Glad to have you in my life, Miss Rose.

[way2busymom.livejournal.com]

Glad to see this post. I know it's hard to speak up when you find yourself in a mess for speaking before thinking. I appreciate you for doing so with class.

[aimeelicious]

You are just such a classy person. I knew that, but you just proved it to be true.

♥

[crimsonkitty88.livejournal.com]

thank you for being awesome and sensible and non-confrontational.

[tabaqui]

I dislike drama muchly.
:)

[tabaqui]

Aw, thank you. :)

[tabaqui]

Thanks for the comment. :) I don't enjoy being wrong but, hey, i *am*, so....

[crimsonkitty88.livejournal.com]

I was... *cough* confronted about my own comments that read much the same as yours and needless to say, it was unpleasant.

Drama is one of the most unnecessary evils out there.

[tabaqui]

I wasn't really confronted, except by the person who pointed me toward the link that, ultimately, gave me a lot more info.

Oh, and a pm asking me to please explain, heh, which was one of the reasons i posted this, 'cause if *one* person was asking me wtf, than other people were probably thinking the same thing, you know? So.

I do my best to keep drama far, far away, here and in rl.
*hugs*

[crimsonkitty88.livejournal.com]

*clings*

[lahela-sga.livejournal.com]

I have no idea what the background of the 'splosion is but I gotta say, Tabaqui you are a woman of honour and I'm glad there are people like you online to set an example. Defending a friend is a natural reaction, but standing up and taking responsibility for your words takes all kinds of guts. Kudos to you.

[brunettepet.livejournal.com]

It takes a lot of strength and backbone to admit you were wrong. Both seem sorely lacking in the original storm stirrer. This "discussion" has caught so many people in its wake, it's a wonder we're not all covered in seaweed and sand!

[eac.livejournal.com]

This post takes a lot of integrity. I'm glad you're revisiting it.

[realtsunamigirl.livejournal.com]

Respect you all to hell; no worries on that.

Thanks so much for answering me privately on this one; response is forthcoming soon:-)