This post is *that* post....

[tabaqui]

This doesn't happen often here, i know, 'cause i tend to be oblivious to most LJ wank, kerfuffles and explosions. But i happened to step right into this one, so i felt like i should speak up.



Yes, thenyxie is on my flist. Yes, i saw her first post about all this and posted a comment in support of her. My impression from her post was 'anonymous people in this anonymous hate meme are slandering me/my SO! Wincon has banned me over it!!'

Which seemed monstrously unfair and hinky and *weird*. And i said, in essence - 'i sure as hell hope the Wincon people have some kind of proof besides anonymous gossip! And they better pony up!'

Now, yes, that reads *very poorly*. My bad. I did not, do not, and will not ever advocate the 'outing' of people who have been assaulted or attacked. Unless you're sitting in a witness box in a court of law, you are not obliged to stand on a street corner and shout to the world that you have been attacked. I really envisioned and hoped that the Wincon people and Nyxie would privately get together online and explain the situation without revealing the names of anyone who didn't feel okay being public. If you're accused of something, you *do* have the right to the details of the accusations, though not a list of names so you can 'sue' anyone, or sic lawyers on them.

I now know many more details, and am...not happy at all with how this was presented, or how it played out. I will not delete my comments, because they're mine and i own them, but i did want to make clear my 'stance', for lack of a better word.

I'll talk about this, if you think it needs more talking. Myself, i don't want people driven off LJ with flaming torches and pitchforks, any more than i want them driven away from a convention because they're afraid of what might happen.

What i want is for people - myself included - to stop and think before they talk, and make sure they have all the facts first. I know i should have.

Comments

[tabaqui]

Heh, thanks. I don't *like* being wrong, but i'm not gonna pretend i *can't* be.

[tabaqui]

Thanks, bb. :)

[tabaqui]

I've seen that user name once or twice! :)

Yeah, i will always want to defend my friends. Just gotta jump a little *slower*.

[tabaqui]

Thank you. :)

[tabaqui]

It happens!
*smooch*

[tabaqui]

Thankee, thankee. I try my best.

[tabaqui]

I appreciate that. I don't *like* being wrong, that's for sure, but i'll be damned if i won't stand up and admit it, 'cause doing anything else just...doesn't work for me.

Caaaaaaaandy! :)

[piratepurple.livejournal.com]

I have no idea what's going on here. But I just wanted to say that owning up to being too quick to defend someone in no way decreases your awesomeness.

Just in case you were wondering.

*smooch*

[tabaqui]

It's a mess, bb, and you're better off not knowing.
But thank you.
:)
*hugs*

[maychorian.livejournal.com]

♥ I don't blame you at all for what went down. She set herself up as the victim from the start, and if you didn't the facts, of course you believed your friend. I'm sorry this has situation has caused so much pain for so many people.

[darkhavens.livejournal.com]

{{{hugs}}}

You are shiny. *smooch*

[too-rational.livejournal.com]

*showers you with all sorts & colors candy* ^_~

♥

[sweptawaybayou.livejournal.com]

and you are soooooooo wonderful. in so many ways.

just in case you hadn't gotten that message yet.

;)

*adores*

[tabaqui]

Wheeeeeee!

[tabaqui]

Hey, bay-bee, right back at'cha. And don't you forget it.
:)

[tabaqui]

Me too! Frustrating and a little depressing. I hope things will settle sooner rather than later.

[tabaqui]

*twirls you*
Thankee!!
*smooch*

[entrenous88.livejournal.com]

This is a tough kind of post to make. I'm so glad you made it. <3

[july-july-july.livejournal.com]

Thank you so much for this post. I know a lot of people hit the post comment button before really giving it a good think. And it's natural to jump to your friend's defense.

I think it's great that you're admitting a mistake, and that your friend was in the wrong. And I think it's admirable that you're not going to delete your former comments. Owning shit is FTW.

In conclusion: proud to have you on my flist.

[tabaqui]

Thank you!
:)

[tabaqui]

Yeah, it's hard to *not* defend someone you consider a friend when it seems like wow, they're really being screwed over.

But thinking first is best! Heh.

Thanks for your comment - i appreciate it.

[noirbabalon.livejournal.com]

From a long time lurker...both positions take courage; the first to step up and put yourself in the line of fire and the second, a more personal, introspective, moral courage. To admit being wrong is not something we do easily. Props to you for the doing the hard thing well. {{HUG}}

[girlguidejones.livejournal.com]

I read your first post -with shock, frankly- and read another one or two from you afterwards, while I fervently hoped that you would back away from that stance. Not, I hope you will believe, because I am on the concom, but because the idea of us exposing the identity of the victims in order to produce proof was so appalling and I was upset that people seemed to be expecting us to do that.

When I didn't see that reversal from you, I defriended you. I found this post on friendsfriends, and I see now that I should have waited, should have had more faith in you, someone I have always known as honorable, and more patience to let you find your own way and in your own time and rather than expect it to be on my schedule. I hope you will forgive me for being hasty in my judgement of you, and I sincerely hope you will welcome me back to your flist.

[tabaqui]

Well, like i said, i had *no clue*. I wasn't on Nyxie's flist in 2008, don't actually remember anyone talking about Wincon then - not like i remember anything particularly from 2008 unless i'm prompted - and didn't have any clue where to look for 'anon hate meme' in, sadly, a *sea* of them.

So, i'm glad someone pointed out the link to me, so i could get all the info. And i'm quite pleased that you clicked and came on over - i appreciate that you were willing to give me the benefit of the doubt!

Welcome back! :)

[electricalgwen.livejournal.com]

I respect you tremendously for making this post.