One of those annoying memes..........

[tabaqui]

I know, i know. But i actually think this one is interesting, so i'm going to give it a try. I'm also just curious about what, if any, questions you guys might ask me.
:)

So! Ask me anything, about any fic i've written. Um. This is not a request post. Heh. Just - ask me why, or how, or whom, or...whatever. I suppose you could ask about my 'writing', too, though i'm likely to be a bit...weird and vague about that. I'm never very coherent when it comes to the process. But i'll do my best!

Ummmm....in other news - the temperature keeps rising and dropping, we had tornado watches yesterday and then possible snow tonight. Jayzus. Make up your mind!!

Comments

[roxymissrose.livejournal.com]

do you make a bible for your characters--I mean, like how they're going to act in a specific story and why, all the backgroundy stuff, or does that come to you in the writing? Because when I read your stories, there's always this sense of huge things going on in the background, beyond what you're telling us, that makes Spike or Dean react a certain way, and I wonder how you keep track of it.

Hmm...I sound a little like a crazy fangirl. *g*

[tabaqui]

Ooooooh, good question. I would say 'no' in that i don't sit down and write out anything about my characters at all, other than the actual story.

But *yes* in that i do know what happened to them in their lives. I know what they like to eat and what they think of certain music and their favorite shirt and what movies they like.... I don't think i could write a story without *knowing* these things, as they really do inform your character. I mean, like you said - people will react a certain way to thing depending on their background and experiences, and if you have not one clue about that stuff, how in hell can you write it?

Oddly, for someone who can barely remember to get milk and eggs at the store when i went to the store for...milk and eggs, i don't really have any problems remembering that Spike prefers lemon drops and Sam likes multi-colored post-its. :)

*smooch*

[pretties-4u.livejournal.com]

"Oddly, for someone who can barely remember to get milk and eggs at the store when i went to the store for...milk and eggs, i don't really have any problems remembering that Spike prefers lemon drops and Sam likes multi-colored post-its."

...selective mad cow.
Say no more. =P

[tabaqui]

*snickers madly*

[roxymissrose.livejournal.com]

I feel that when I'm reading certain folks stuff, that they build on more than what's canon--without changing the character into someone else entirely.

Oddly, for someone who can barely remember to get milk and eggs at the store when i went to the store for...milk and eggs, i don't really have any problems remembering that Spike prefers lemon drops and Sam likes multi-colored post-its. :)

LOL!

[saifai.livejournal.com]

I've always been fascinated by the douseverse Snakes and Ladders. I'm wondering if you recall if there was anything in particular that inspired y'all with it? Some what if, or weird thought, that drove it all.

Can't really come up with any other questions at the moment. Too busy sorting through all the squees in my head and trying to hold back all the gloms. LOL - You're one of my favorite writers, especially in my OTP, Spander.

*gives in and gloms*

[tabaqui]

Heeee!
*smooch*

Hrmmmmmm. Oh man. I'll have to consult reremouse for some of this, as my poor memory fails me, but i *do* remember that we wanted very much to write a sort of Aftermath fic in which Xander grows up, finds himself, *is* himself without staying in the 'Scooby' fold. We wanted to explore the ramifications of souls and not-souls, and what the collapse of Sunnydale did to everybody.

Plus, we wanted to write lots of hot sex. Heh. And Connor! And Angel being the goober he is, and Wes getting some love and *Gunn*, man, why doesn't Gunn get more love? I don't think it ever occured to us that it would be the epic it turned out to be, but oh man - it was fun as hell. :)

[bendtothesun.livejournal.com]

What inspired Scaling Heaven? Or how did it come together even? It's always been one of my favorites but I read it and I can't even imagine how someone would come up with something that awesome. *marvels*

[tabaqui]

Eeee! I do so love that fic! :) Mostly it was inspired by me loving sci fi. I've read it most of my life, and watched it on tv or at the movies, and there just were not any sci fi fics out there that i really *loved*. I have definite ideas about the future - Star Trek being too clean, and Blade Runner too damn depressing - so i wanted to put a bit of my own spin on a future and then stick 'our boys' in there. And make them *fit*, not just paste them on.

Also, i adore the sci fi of C J Cherryh, and i definitely cribbed a bit of her style and her...practicality? Her spaceships are not huge things that land on planets, nor are her crews in uniforms and all 'yes sir/no sir!' You have to recycle, you have to pay attention, you have to *work* - no replicators or teleporters or what have you. I like that. I like sci fi that remembers that water is a precious commodity in space and that 300 years from now, people will forget that paper is made from trees, or that Alice Cooper rocked. Heh.

I loved writing that fic, and was so very, very pleased at the reception it got. I didn't think it would be popular *at all*.

[sevendeadlyfun.livejournal.com]

I have a Xander characterization question. In your fic "Changes", Xanders seems to me to be timid and almost...I'm not sure of the word here. He seems less confident than he is in canon and even then in some of your other stories, more dependent on Spike. I'm curious as to the whys of his characterization.

I apologize in advance if this seems all "u suk". It's definitely not intended that way. I'm a huge fan. But comparing Xander's characterization in "Changes" to other Xander's you've written in, say, "Letters", I see a huge difference that (to me) isn't just accounted for by age. Did you have a specific rationale behind these different characterizations or did it just sort of happen as part of the story you were telling.

[tabaqui]

Hrmmmmm. No, i don't think this is a 'u suk' thing at all! It's a very interesting question.

When i started writing Changes, all i had was the scene where Spike tells Xander about the bombs dropping on London. About the music that was playing, how he felt. I loved that scene. And i just...really needed it to be there for a *reason*. I mean - why in hell were Spike and Xander friends? Why was Spike at Xander's house, and how in hell did Xander get it? All that stuff. So that started Changes.

And this Xander is very different, yes, from most of the others. I think that...he suffered a harsh blow when Jesse died - much more than he did on the show. And it really hurt to have his friend taken from him, and to discover that the world was uglier and more dangerous than he knew. So i think Changes Xander just started out a bit more wounded and less sure of love than show Xander.

I think, too, that in Changes he's more involved in what's going on, you know? Sees more of the bad side of Sunnydale and has a better sense of the dangers. He's not as close to Buffy so he doesn't feel quite as...protected, maybe? Plus his ability to 'see', i think, makes him a little more sensitive to things than Show Xander was, and it tells.

I really do feel that he got more confident later on, but of course that hoary old 'soul bond' thing kind of wiped him out. But then - Spike was pretty dependent, too, wanting and needing that constant reassurance and mental 'touch', as it were....

Which might be the best argument, really, for *not* using that particular plot point in a story, heh. It tends to kind of mess up your characters!

I love Changes - am so very proud of it, and how entrenched it seems to have become in the minds and hearts of some fans. That's awesome. But it *is* a bit over the top, heh.

Hope this answer satisfies! Feel free to push me for more if it doesn't.

[mythologian.livejournal.com]

I have always admired your use of quotations in Changes (its one of my favorite things about that series) and have been curious as to how you managed to thread them into the story so well, do you have a file full of quotations to use already set aside or do you pick them out from the actual books as you go along?

[tabaqui]

Thank you!

Most of the quotes in Changes were things i'd found before and really wanted to use, or things from books that i have lying around, heh. Not so much a file full of stuff as just...stuff i'd read and loved and knew i'd have to come back to and use, somehow or another. I also have a big stack of 'must have to hand' books that just.... The words inspire, and make me happy, and find their way into a lot of stuff. Well, a lot of the Buffy stuff. SPN doesn't lend itself to poetry as much, but it still makes little scenes and ideas pop.

Plus, i really felt that Spike, who at heart is a gentleman, and learned, would still have a little soft spot for poetry, and even if he isn't running around quoting it, it *works* in stories with him in it, because you almost kind of expect it.

I think he *thinks* it a lot, being a poet at heart - he wants poetry and beautiful words in his life, though he won't admit it because that's too 'nancy'. But in his head, he's quoting The Bard, and Auden, and any number of people, because you don't lose that part of yourself.

[randomstasis.livejournal.com]

Wow. As memes go, that's a tall order. At least in your case^_^
oh, hmmm. Well, I guess the only sensible question I can ask is about (of course) your imagery. Do you visualize everything, and then describe what you need of it, to get that depth of feeling from it, or do you know what needs to be there, and how it has to feel, and build a description from that?

Hope the question makes sense.
If I had to rephrase it, I guess -do you know what you're looking at with the kind of detail you know the characters, or do the details and/or images come as you write?

oh, and..
"Jayzus. Make up your mind!!"
But it's weather.
You weren't supposing the similarity to "whether" is a coincidence, were you? Cuz I think it's more like one of those self-fulfilling prophecy thingies:)

[tabaqui]

OMG. Weather/whether. Yes. EXACTLY!!

It's snowing right now. Nearly five inches so far and still coming down! Sheesh.

As for your question....hrmmmm.

Okay, this will be kind of hard to answer, so i'll do my best to be coherent and clear, heh. When i write, to be honest, the way the words come is just...how it comes. I don't think 'okay, Spike is staring out at LA, and he's a little sad, and it's raining...now how does that go...' That's the scene i want in my head, but what comes out of my fingers, as it were, is 'The rain and the sky were both grey, a shroud that fuzzed all the details - made everything deceptively soft. Even the drops that spattered and ran down the necro-glass were blurry - formless - and if Spike let his gaze unfocus just a little, then LA could be anywhere - any when.'

It just....i dunno. That's kind of.... Oh, man - this sounds *so fucking pretentious*, i'm so sorry, but...that's how i think. That's how i see the world. When i go for a walk i'm noticing how it smells, and the way the gravel moves under my shoes, and the little weeds in the drainage ditch, and the twist of plastic bag wrapped around a street sign.... The world is so *alive* - it dances and sings and *emotes* in all sorts of ways and i just...notice. Get distracted by it, really.

Every scene has a certain emotion to portray - or more than one - and the words just mold themselves to it. Unless i wanted to inject some irony into the above scene, i wouldn't talk about how bright 'washed clean' the rain made the city, you know? That wouldn't fit - i wouldn't even go there.

I sort of come off sounding like some kind of pompous ass, here, but honestly, this is just...how it is. I see a lot of what i write like scenes from a movie, and then i just have to flesh out the bits your eye and mind see but don't consciously *take in*.

Hope that makes....any sense! :)

[randomstasis.livejournal.com]

Actually, given the question I asked, that's an astonishingly clear and detailed answer. And there's nothing pompous or pretentious about trying to accurately describe the process of creating poetry-

sooo-Wow, thanks.
"That's how i see the world. When i go for a walk i'm noticing how it smells, and the way the gravel moves under my shoes, and the little weeds in the drainage ditch, and the twist of plastic bag wrapped around a street sign.... The world is so *alive* - it dances and sings and *emotes* in all sorts of ways and i just...notice. Get distracted by it, really. "

oh, yeah. I get to do that on good days, and that's very much the sense I get from your descriptions.
Maybe that's why your images hit so hard- they make me remember what the world is, even when I'm not looking. (to misquote Neil Young-oh, I've loved that so long.)
Yes indeed, I really do like your eye and how it sees- and your fingers are apparently very clever too!

Also- word on CJ Cherryh's fiction. She sees it all, it seems, and "practical" is such a good summation of her descriptions, and her world-building. (I never have gotten over her space-workers philosophy: "Gravity doesn't care" I swear that runs quickly through my head at the oddest moments:/)

[essenceofmeanin.livejournal.com]

i was really amazed by the sense of gritty realism that you imbued into These Rags of Memory. what was your inspiration?

[tabaqui]

HA!
As if you didn't know.
:)

Actually, the original story *was* the inspiration. Because that kind of desperate, pride-wrenching 'solution' comes of gritty realism, and out of money and frantic is pretty damn real.

As is the way Dean didn't want anyone to know, wouldn't bow an inch, but will take as much as he can get away with because it's *Sam Sam Sam* he's thinking about, and Sam trumps all.

So i had to move that kind of emotion to the remix, because Sam would feel the same shame and anger, and the same unbending pride. He *left home*, angry and hurt and righteous, and so no matter what, he's going to succeed. No matter *what*.

The rest - the smells and the ugliness and the practical ruthlessness are just...my own little head, taking me there.

:)

*never could have done it without you, though, bay-bee*

[essenceofmeanin.livejournal.com]

hah! i didn't mean it like that -- i wasn't looking to get my ego stroked.

*blush* see? you said a lot of nice things about ME, but i wanted to hear about YOU! i do appreciate it very much -- i respect your opinion very highly. :)

[randomstasis.livejournal.com]

So my next question is- whatever inspired the Wolfpack?
Is there some backstory on what made them turn feral?
I love those characters to death, but what made you go *there* with these guys?

They are so vicious, with all the charm and none of the openness and actual caring that characterizes "our" Sam and Dean. JOhn at least must have been able to pass for quasi-normal at one point, even if he was exorcising demons way back in the Marines, but I get just no sense that they're anything but sociopaths by human standards-yet they're still protecting society from the monsters.


and btw, here in high-altitude Wyoming, it's like, 50-60 degrees and has been all week, no matter what the weather report says.
Global warming, anyone?

[tabaqui]

Ooh, those boys. :)

The Wolfpack is at war. That's it, all, and everything. And they are at war with *everyone*, to a greater and lesser degree. They will stop at nothing - not even dabbling in darker magics, like calling efrit, to win their war.

As they see it, the world could die, humanity could be destroyed, if they don't fight. So they *do* fight, but they refuse to follow rules, because their enemy has none. And they refuse to compromise or back down, because nothing is as important as winning this war.

And the enemy is everywhere, and you can only and ever trust family. When Mary died in the Wolfpack 'verse, John simply gave in to the warrior inside and shut everything else out. Nothing became more important than protecting his remaining family, and extracting vengeance. And he's passed that on to his sons and they, little sponges that they were, took to it like ducks to water.

Knights Templar, lone cowboys against all comers, the last soldier standing, Robin Hood who has no poor to give to - every childhood fantasy and game lives and breathes for the boys. Magic is, obviously, real, and so they see themselves as archetypal figures. Heroes, guarded by the Blessed Mother Mary, who waits for them in heaven.

Insane, sociopathic, whatever label you think fits? It does. :)

[randomstasis.livejournal.com]

" little sponges that they were"

Didn't Kroki refur write that one?*hides*
:)

"They will stop at nothing - not even dabbling in darker magics,..to win their war"
yes, I do see that-when dealing with archetypes of good and evil, you'd have to become one, and strip away humanity to wield the weapons of the archetypal warriors. I'm glad they have that much connection to the rest of humanity, at least.
*iz flashing on Faith and Buffy for some reason here*:/

"every childhood fantasy and game lives and breathes for the boys"

oooh, I like that-it kinda fits-except now I'll have to see them as dirty-faced feral creatures huddled into their legend to keep them warm. The legend makes a splendid aura, though-almost hides the poor little mites inside.

But..I'm afraid my question remains unanswered; by what twist of your head did you manage to see them that way in the first place? What inspired that take on the characters, if you will.

And, having lost so much- do they still like pie?

[http://users.livejournal.com/_beetle_/]

YOU CAN'T JUST SPRING THIS KINDA FREEBIE ON PEOPLE! SOME WARNING WOULD BE NICE!

Dude, seriously, I'm gonna have to go through your fic--a terrible, terrible chore--and winnow down all my questions to some number that's not quite so crazyish.

That said, I think Randomstasis totally stole my question, and she should give it back because it was awesome and I want it and all my other questions now sound dumb. Damnit.

[druffine.livejournal.com]

Hey, late I am. Sorry. Still have a (few) questions...

Do you ever get stuck? Do you get fed up with a character and/or a story? Do you have unfinished stories no-one but you knows off? And what do you do if you just can't write more to a fic?

Oh and... do you always use your PC or do you write things out by hand and type them later?

I hope you have the patience to answer me (like always). Thanks so much!

[tabaqui]

Better late than never!
:)

I *do* get stuck. Sometimes it's because i'm not sure where a story is going, sometimes it's because i've let myself write something that just doesn't work or fit and i'm being stubborn about getting rid of it. Sometimes i just don't want to *work*, and i'm at a sticky/hard part, heh. But as a rule, i either just *write*, and don't worry about the quality, or a i write tiny bits and go away and come back and write more tiny bits until suddenly i'm past it.

The only stories i've ever gotten fed up with are ones that weren't much to my taste. I've written a few fics for challenges/prompts/whatever and if i'm writing something that i'm not 100 percent behind, i can get pretty annoyed. Characters bug me only when i don't like them to begin with. Like Willow.
*cough*

I have several unfinished things no one has ever seen. Probably they will stay that way. Both ways. Heh.

If no more story is there, then i'm done. I don't try to force it or anything. That would lead to lametastic fic, which i really couldn't abide. So - Changes? Done. Letters? Done, i'm afraid. Same with Credence and pretty much any other Buffy'verse fic you can name. I just won't *force* myself to write something i can't feel anymore.

I write everything on my computer. On my lovely, lovely ergonomic keyboard and in Word. I find that my fingers hurt a lot more writing long hand than typing, so typing it is! Plus, my handwriting has gotten worse and worse, to the point where even i have trouble deciphering it. Sad, really. :)

*twirls you*
Hope that answers everything!
*smooch*