One of those annoying memes..........

[tabaqui]

I know, i know. But i actually think this one is interesting, so i'm going to give it a try. I'm also just curious about what, if any, questions you guys might ask me.
:)

So! Ask me anything, about any fic i've written. Um. This is not a request post. Heh. Just - ask me why, or how, or whom, or...whatever. I suppose you could ask about my 'writing', too, though i'm likely to be a bit...weird and vague about that. I'm never very coherent when it comes to the process. But i'll do my best!

Ummmm....in other news - the temperature keeps rising and dropping, we had tornado watches yesterday and then possible snow tonight. Jayzus. Make up your mind!!

Comments

[roxymissrose.livejournal.com]

do you make a bible for your characters--I mean, like how they're going to act in a specific story and why, all the backgroundy stuff, or does that come to you in the writing? Because when I read your stories, there's always this sense of huge things going on in the background, beyond what you're telling us, that makes Spike or Dean react a certain way, and I wonder how you keep track of it.

Hmm...I sound a little like a crazy fangirl. *g*

[saifai.livejournal.com]

I've always been fascinated by the douseverse Snakes and Ladders. I'm wondering if you recall if there was anything in particular that inspired y'all with it? Some what if, or weird thought, that drove it all.

Can't really come up with any other questions at the moment. Too busy sorting through all the squees in my head and trying to hold back all the gloms. LOL - You're one of my favorite writers, especially in my OTP, Spander.

*gives in and gloms*

[bendtothesun.livejournal.com]

What inspired Scaling Heaven? Or how did it come together even? It's always been one of my favorites but I read it and I can't even imagine how someone would come up with something that awesome. *marvels*

[tabaqui]

Ooooooh, good question. I would say 'no' in that i don't sit down and write out anything about my characters at all, other than the actual story.

But *yes* in that i do know what happened to them in their lives. I know what they like to eat and what they think of certain music and their favorite shirt and what movies they like.... I don't think i could write a story without *knowing* these things, as they really do inform your character. I mean, like you said - people will react a certain way to thing depending on their background and experiences, and if you have not one clue about that stuff, how in hell can you write it?

Oddly, for someone who can barely remember to get milk and eggs at the store when i went to the store for...milk and eggs, i don't really have any problems remembering that Spike prefers lemon drops and Sam likes multi-colored post-its. :)

*smooch*

[pretties-4u.livejournal.com]

"Oddly, for someone who can barely remember to get milk and eggs at the store when i went to the store for...milk and eggs, i don't really have any problems remembering that Spike prefers lemon drops and Sam likes multi-colored post-its."

...selective mad cow.
Say no more. =P

[tabaqui]

Eeee! I do so love that fic! :) Mostly it was inspired by me loving sci fi. I've read it most of my life, and watched it on tv or at the movies, and there just were not any sci fi fics out there that i really *loved*. I have definite ideas about the future - Star Trek being too clean, and Blade Runner too damn depressing - so i wanted to put a bit of my own spin on a future and then stick 'our boys' in there. And make them *fit*, not just paste them on.

Also, i adore the sci fi of C J Cherryh, and i definitely cribbed a bit of her style and her...practicality? Her spaceships are not huge things that land on planets, nor are her crews in uniforms and all 'yes sir/no sir!' You have to recycle, you have to pay attention, you have to *work* - no replicators or teleporters or what have you. I like that. I like sci fi that remembers that water is a precious commodity in space and that 300 years from now, people will forget that paper is made from trees, or that Alice Cooper rocked. Heh.

I loved writing that fic, and was so very, very pleased at the reception it got. I didn't think it would be popular *at all*.

[tabaqui]

Heeee!
*smooch*

Hrmmmmmm. Oh man. I'll have to consult reremouse for some of this, as my poor memory fails me, but i *do* remember that we wanted very much to write a sort of Aftermath fic in which Xander grows up, finds himself, *is* himself without staying in the 'Scooby' fold. We wanted to explore the ramifications of souls and not-souls, and what the collapse of Sunnydale did to everybody.

Plus, we wanted to write lots of hot sex. Heh. And Connor! And Angel being the goober he is, and Wes getting some love and *Gunn*, man, why doesn't Gunn get more love? I don't think it ever occured to us that it would be the epic it turned out to be, but oh man - it was fun as hell. :)

[tabaqui]

*snickers madly*

[sevendeadlyfun.livejournal.com]

I have a Xander characterization question. In your fic "Changes", Xanders seems to me to be timid and almost...I'm not sure of the word here. He seems less confident than he is in canon and even then in some of your other stories, more dependent on Spike. I'm curious as to the whys of his characterization.

I apologize in advance if this seems all "u suk". It's definitely not intended that way. I'm a huge fan. But comparing Xander's characterization in "Changes" to other Xander's you've written in, say, "Letters", I see a huge difference that (to me) isn't just accounted for by age. Did you have a specific rationale behind these different characterizations or did it just sort of happen as part of the story you were telling.

[mythologian.livejournal.com]

I have always admired your use of quotations in Changes (its one of my favorite things about that series) and have been curious as to how you managed to thread them into the story so well, do you have a file full of quotations to use already set aside or do you pick them out from the actual books as you go along?

[tabaqui]

Thank you!

Most of the quotes in Changes were things i'd found before and really wanted to use, or things from books that i have lying around, heh. Not so much a file full of stuff as just...stuff i'd read and loved and knew i'd have to come back to and use, somehow or another. I also have a big stack of 'must have to hand' books that just.... The words inspire, and make me happy, and find their way into a lot of stuff. Well, a lot of the Buffy stuff. SPN doesn't lend itself to poetry as much, but it still makes little scenes and ideas pop.

Plus, i really felt that Spike, who at heart is a gentleman, and learned, would still have a little soft spot for poetry, and even if he isn't running around quoting it, it *works* in stories with him in it, because you almost kind of expect it.

I think he *thinks* it a lot, being a poet at heart - he wants poetry and beautiful words in his life, though he won't admit it because that's too 'nancy'. But in his head, he's quoting The Bard, and Auden, and any number of people, because you don't lose that part of yourself.

[tabaqui]

Hrmmmmm. No, i don't think this is a 'u suk' thing at all! It's a very interesting question.

When i started writing Changes, all i had was the scene where Spike tells Xander about the bombs dropping on London. About the music that was playing, how he felt. I loved that scene. And i just...really needed it to be there for a *reason*. I mean - why in hell were Spike and Xander friends? Why was Spike at Xander's house, and how in hell did Xander get it? All that stuff. So that started Changes.

And this Xander is very different, yes, from most of the others. I think that...he suffered a harsh blow when Jesse died - much more than he did on the show. And it really hurt to have his friend taken from him, and to discover that the world was uglier and more dangerous than he knew. So i think Changes Xander just started out a bit more wounded and less sure of love than show Xander.

I think, too, that in Changes he's more involved in what's going on, you know? Sees more of the bad side of Sunnydale and has a better sense of the dangers. He's not as close to Buffy so he doesn't feel quite as...protected, maybe? Plus his ability to 'see', i think, makes him a little more sensitive to things than Show Xander was, and it tells.

I really do feel that he got more confident later on, but of course that hoary old 'soul bond' thing kind of wiped him out. But then - Spike was pretty dependent, too, wanting and needing that constant reassurance and mental 'touch', as it were....

Which might be the best argument, really, for *not* using that particular plot point in a story, heh. It tends to kind of mess up your characters!

I love Changes - am so very proud of it, and how entrenched it seems to have become in the minds and hearts of some fans. That's awesome. But it *is* a bit over the top, heh.

Hope this answer satisfies! Feel free to push me for more if it doesn't.

[randomstasis.livejournal.com]

Wow. As memes go, that's a tall order. At least in your case^_^
oh, hmmm. Well, I guess the only sensible question I can ask is about (of course) your imagery. Do you visualize everything, and then describe what you need of it, to get that depth of feeling from it, or do you know what needs to be there, and how it has to feel, and build a description from that?

Hope the question makes sense.
If I had to rephrase it, I guess -do you know what you're looking at with the kind of detail you know the characters, or do the details and/or images come as you write?

oh, and..
"Jayzus. Make up your mind!!"
But it's weather.
You weren't supposing the similarity to "whether" is a coincidence, were you? Cuz I think it's more like one of those self-fulfilling prophecy thingies:)

[roxymissrose.livejournal.com]

I feel that when I'm reading certain folks stuff, that they build on more than what's canon--without changing the character into someone else entirely.

Oddly, for someone who can barely remember to get milk and eggs at the store when i went to the store for...milk and eggs, i don't really have any problems remembering that Spike prefers lemon drops and Sam likes multi-colored post-its. :)

LOL!

[roxymissrose.livejournal.com]

*snorfle*

[tabaqui]

That, see, is the point, to me. How can i fit in details that canon doesn't cover, without making the character ooc? I love me some canon, but it's maddeningly thin in spots.

:)

[tabaqui]

OMG. Weather/whether. Yes. EXACTLY!!

It's snowing right now. Nearly five inches so far and still coming down! Sheesh.

As for your question....hrmmmm.

Okay, this will be kind of hard to answer, so i'll do my best to be coherent and clear, heh. When i write, to be honest, the way the words come is just...how it comes. I don't think 'okay, Spike is staring out at LA, and he's a little sad, and it's raining...now how does that go...' That's the scene i want in my head, but what comes out of my fingers, as it were, is 'The rain and the sky were both grey, a shroud that fuzzed all the details - made everything deceptively soft. Even the drops that spattered and ran down the necro-glass were blurry - formless - and if Spike let his gaze unfocus just a little, then LA could be anywhere - any when.'

It just....i dunno. That's kind of.... Oh, man - this sounds *so fucking pretentious*, i'm so sorry, but...that's how i think. That's how i see the world. When i go for a walk i'm noticing how it smells, and the way the gravel moves under my shoes, and the little weeds in the drainage ditch, and the twist of plastic bag wrapped around a street sign.... The world is so *alive* - it dances and sings and *emotes* in all sorts of ways and i just...notice. Get distracted by it, really.

Every scene has a certain emotion to portray - or more than one - and the words just mold themselves to it. Unless i wanted to inject some irony into the above scene, i wouldn't talk about how bright 'washed clean' the rain made the city, you know? That wouldn't fit - i wouldn't even go there.

I sort of come off sounding like some kind of pompous ass, here, but honestly, this is just...how it is. I see a lot of what i write like scenes from a movie, and then i just have to flesh out the bits your eye and mind see but don't consciously *take in*.

Hope that makes....any sense! :)

[randomstasis.livejournal.com]

Actually, given the question I asked, that's an astonishingly clear and detailed answer. And there's nothing pompous or pretentious about trying to accurately describe the process of creating poetry-

sooo-Wow, thanks.
"That's how i see the world. When i go for a walk i'm noticing how it smells, and the way the gravel moves under my shoes, and the little weeds in the drainage ditch, and the twist of plastic bag wrapped around a street sign.... The world is so *alive* - it dances and sings and *emotes* in all sorts of ways and i just...notice. Get distracted by it, really. "

oh, yeah. I get to do that on good days, and that's very much the sense I get from your descriptions.
Maybe that's why your images hit so hard- they make me remember what the world is, even when I'm not looking. (to misquote Neil Young-oh, I've loved that so long.)
Yes indeed, I really do like your eye and how it sees- and your fingers are apparently very clever too!

Also- word on CJ Cherryh's fiction. She sees it all, it seems, and "practical" is such a good summation of her descriptions, and her world-building. (I never have gotten over her space-workers philosophy: "Gravity doesn't care" I swear that runs quickly through my head at the oddest moments:/)

[tabaqui]

Yay! I'm glad i was clear. Heh. It's hard for me to put the 'how' of writing into words.

And thank you so much - i'm pleased my weird inner worlds can make other people happy.

Heeee! Yes. Gravity *does not*. I so much love her characters and her worlds. She's into the nitty-gritty of it, not just skimming the surface or writing pretty, clean, 'Jetsons' futures.

[randomstasis.livejournal.com]

"I so much love her characters and her worlds. She's into the nitty-gritty of it, not just skimming the surface or writing pretty, clean, 'Jetsons' futures."

Yeah, I sometimes have some issues with her gender depictions, especially in the SF, but there are actually people that think she's boring because there's too much detail and it's too complicated. I don't know how anyone can read something like "Paladin" and complain about the details, or the grey areas in character-those are what suck me into the story and make it so good.

[tabaqui]

Oh, man, i know. Details are what make a story, and frankly, i'd rather a couple of chapters of how to dress a rabbit and how to learn how to fight in armor than a couple of chapters of trite dialogue and boring, cliche 'plot'.

*Paladin is so awesome*

Now - these are not fighting words! What are your issues with her gender depictions? I'd be very interested in knowing....

[randomstasis.livejournal.com]

oops-I wasn't even thinking of fighting words! me neither, ok?:)

It's just- have you ever noticed that most of her MCs are male, but few seem capable of a decent close relationship with a human woman?

That all the women her MMCs deal with seem to be bad people, pathetic and shallow or alien/uattainable, while the male characters are well rounded and sympathetic, whether human or alien?
Think about all the women in Bren Cameron's life, for instance...at least, the ones who want something of him, like love.

And it's not universally true-Rimrunners was an exception, so was Paladin, kind of- but it's a tendency that bothers me, because she's so good with characterization it can't be accidental.
It made even less sense when I figured out CJC is a lesbian..I always thought she must just relate better to men or something.

IDK. It's just kind of wierd, and I can't figure it out.

and on an unrelated note- Paladin was so full of squeeful moments- hanging in the inn and dropping innuendoes about demonsex in a thunderstorm, the rural folk explaining the scars on the rice paddies left by their horses as dragon tracks-
the kind of attention to detail that just lays out the world for me is what I've always loved her for.
She's just so-playful- sometimes, but it always carries the story, it's never an interruption. I just sit back in awe.

[tabaqui]

Hrmmmmmmmm....
Interesting.

I don't know that i agree, but then, we really only see her characters 'in extremis' as it were.... I'm honestly not thinking of a lot of men - or women - who *have* relationships in her books.
*now bear with me, my memory won't let me pop out names....*

The station head and his spacer wife in DownBelow Station had a good relationship, i thought, defined very well by who they were and what they were/did. I loved the 'ships in Hellburner - 'good time girls' who fell for their ship mates, and uptight Ben in hard-core like with a 'rebel'....

There didn't seem to be room for 'ships in um...oh hell...the one with the kid who was kidnapped, who's mom was a little crazy and who's dad was the captain? Grrrrrrr.... But at the end, he did seem to be moving into a solid relationship with the girl who could, like him, be awake during jump, but i didn't see either of them forging a life-long bond, to be honest. *i thought he'd do better hooking up with the captain's son....*

I think the point of Bren having a relationship with an 'alien' is sort *of* the point, in those books.... No one seems to have any sort of lasting anything in Gehenna, but then, that society is very, very odd....

I dunno. I see what you're saying, but i don't see it as some sort of 'problem with women' - i love her women characters, can't really think of any i don't like besides Eri Amory and even then, i like her clone, mostly.... Perhaps i need more convincing. :)

On Paladin - YES to the 'dragon' - that was *so* cool. And i loved him putting ribbons in her hair and the reason for it - and the little bits and bobs they loot, and her bandage and getting on a horse without showing her female butt.... So fun, so awesome.

Definitely an author i want to emulate.

[randomstasis.livejournal.com]

Hmm. I'm not really trying to convince you, here, just to explain the wierd feeling I get sometimes, like maybe CJC is buying into the sexist "men can be whole people in sci-fi, women can only be foils for the men" thing. Which I don't believe, but-

In Brens world, not a single human woman could relate to the aliens or deal with the issues they raised, or even *like* them. Barb, his mom, Toby's wife, Captain Sabin, Yolanda, even whatsername the paidhi in reserve that tried to replace him, despite years of training, just didn't get it at all. They were all totally focussed on their own self-centered issues and couldn't see the big picture. I would hope that was coincidental, but I don't see how it can be.

Bren, jason, the head captain, Toby, Shaun- a really disproportionate number of men managed what none of the women could, with Ginny as the sole partial exception to that rule.
Now, *yes*, absolutely, Bren's isolation and identification was/is the point, but I don't see how gender differences are integral to that particular point-except, possibly, in Bren's own mind.

The Gates series has practically no women except the non-human Morgaine, who is specifically described as not at all like a woman.
In the Rider series, Faerie series, even the Rusalka series the stories are almost totally male oriented, with women mostly showing up as antagonists. And yet, among the Chanur, the unreliable and therefore less competent males are depicted sympathetically as capable of overcoming their socio-cultural & biological disadvantages-and then become admirable main characters.

It took a long time for this to sink in and become a thing for me..I think what I'm seeing is real, but I don't want to believe it's actual prejudice on her part, and she's not so old that I can believe she just thinks that way either. She's not prone to pandering to the expectations of the lowest common denominator, (read-publishers-snerk)though, so wtf?

Honestly, it only made sense when I assumed she was one of those women that gets along with men better than women..but that's not it either.
*shakes head* IDK, I really don't.

The spacer woman/station head relationship-good, but by its nature, it's NOT close.
"to be honest. *i thought he'd do better hooking up with the captain's son....*"
:) *you* though the slash ship was better? *no further comment, just an earnest attempt to look surprised*

Cherryh's always been one of my favorite authors and always will be. I still want to emulate her, myself-just..not that part. It's actually made me aware that I tend to get stuck in that trope that the only true hero is a male hero, myself.

[tabaqui]

Oh, i'm not worried about 'converting' or you converting me or ....whatever, i just needed more info to get what you meant.

I'm sadly not remembering the Bren story well enough to say yes or no. I don't remember Captain Sabin or Toby's wife, though i think that culture and exposure plays a big part in that story, and just because Toby fished with the 'aliens' doesn't mean he got them or liked them - i got the feeling he was doing more for Bren than for any other reason. But like i said, i can't *remember*, it's been a long time since i've read those books. Getting anything new in that series will be....confusing.
*sigh*

The Gates worlds were all worlds where women *were* background characters. Like it or not, soldiers are generally men, and we mostly just met soldiers, except for the girl in the drowned world, who i liked quite a bit. She had brains and 'spunk', for lack of a better world, and did pretty well considering her lack of education.

Hrmmmm...the Faerie stories - Dreamstone and Tree of Swords and Jewels...the main person was Arafel who was female...and the little girl, her mother, Murnie....i dunno, i wouldn't say those two books were lacking in female characters.

Rusalka, yes, but if it helps any, i mostly wanna smack everybody in those stories, they *all* piss me off.

You say the men are 'sympathetic' in the Chanur stories...does that mean you find the women unsympathetic? They fill all the roles that men 'normally' would.... And the women characters in those stories certainly overcame their culture ideas about men with accepting Tully and...um...Pyanfar's husband on board....

I dunno. I guess...i don't see it, or i don't see it as *strongly*. I see male and female characters, with flaws and issues and problems, doing what they think is best to make things right/work/not suck. I don't read those stories and go 'wow, why is this woman so marginal?' or whatever. It just...doesn't strike me that way.

Now, Niven, Asimov, even, unfortunately, Tiptree - gods. I hate most every character, and the female ones even more. But...Cherryh's women have never pinged me in any way as 'marginalized' or '2 dimensional'....

Maybe i'm stubbornly blind, but really - i honestly can't see it. I mean, i *do see* what you're saying about the characters, but not as strongly - not as...darkly? I don't see the women who don't 'get' the aliens as being written as less or flat or whatever but as just being women who ...don't get the aliens. I guess i don't think less of them for it, as who knows, maybe *i* wouldn't get them, either. You know?

I think the Downbelow wife/husband works, and works well. They love each other, she could have left, given up, but she didn't, and he understood her mindset was different from his, and she got them about him, and yet she lived in his world, no complaints. I dunno. I liked them, a lot. She kicked ass, pregnant, taking over - she was cool.

I guess since i write pretty much exclusively male characters, i might feel more comfortable about her work than others, but i dunno. I don't think that women *can't* be heroes, or tough, or whatever, i just...don't want to write about them. I used to think i *had* to, or i was 'letting the side down', betraying womankind or whatever but anymore i'm just...fuck it. I write what i like, and that's the way it is.

It's always interesting to see what other people see and feel and think about stuff you have in common. I'm going to mull over all this and see if i start to see your view more or not - you have valid points, but i guess i don't see them as quite as...damaging? as you do. I dunno. Heh.

Thanks for laying it all out, though! And totally feel free to keep on talking about this to me if you want, i'm not ending the discussion at all. :)