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Monday, March 21st, 2005 09:49 pm
So, trolling around, and [livejournal.com profile] su_herald has this link to a vid. It's called Counting Bodies
and it's by [livejournal.com profile] millylicious and it's just... I've never seen 'this' Connor - all feral and desperate - and man...

The vid rocks - go check it out.
Plus, it made me write a little ficlet. See what you think.




It took a while to figure out who the kid was. Dirty-blond hair streaked with mud and blood - dirty face streaked with tears. Running screaming into the remains of the Wolfram and Hart building one night while Spike was there, trying to glean something useful from the ruins.

Hitting him - biting him - inarticulate words and Spike had finally just knocked him unconscious. Dragged him back to the lair he and Blue were sharing, in the smoking pit that was L.A. Didn't eat him, 'cause he smelled like belladonna and rue and Angel, and Spike spent the rest of the night crouched over his twitching, fever-wracked body. Just breathing.

Three days and the kid was well enough to talk, and he haltingly told a story of kidnap and betrayal - other dimensions and fathers who were not. Of pain and rage - magic and murder and madness. Blue chiming in now and again with her stilted observances; gleaning bits of the past from the scattered puzzle-pieces that were all that was left of Fred. His name was Connor - he was Angel's son.


After he was well enough to walk, he didn't. He collected blankets and scraps and made a nest in one corner - took to following Spike when Spike went out to hunt. Spike was done with animal blood - done with being a champion or the shadow of one. Done with it all, as surely as the Powers were done with this dimension. This Earth.

Connor was a good hunting partner. Human enough to attract demons, demon enough to survive them. And he could attract humans, too - play the wounded cub and draw them out with his poisoned-sugar smile. Then Spike could pounce, and feast. Connor would watch him - would loot the corpse and burn it, silent.

He didn't talk much in bed, either, but he parted his thighs to Spike's knee and offered his throat - dug his nails into Spike's back and his teeth into Spike's shoulder. He was a lithe and needle-fanged cat, and so pretty when he bared his teeth. Spike fucked him into screams and bit him until he swooned. Afterwards he would be lazily talkative and tell Spike about his 'real' life and his 'pretend' life. He never seemed to settle on which was which, and Spike never bothered to untangle the skein.


L.A. got worse, in time, and one night they loaded up a couple of packs and struck out across the smoking, pock-marked plain, heading for Portland or maybe Denver. Watching Illyria do her clock-work stalk, watching Connor pick his way through the cracked streets like a deer; all wide eyes and sudden lift of the head - frozen stillness and then movement as he tracked and dismissed the noises from the shadows. Pale, bruised arms under an old flannel he'd ripped the sleeves out of - worn-out blue jeans and sneakers - ring of bite-marks around his neck and the look of being always just over the edge, in one way or another. Spike wore his demon-face and nothing came near them, and near Carmel they found a Humvee that had the keys in it.

The roads weren't so bad further north - Connor slept curled in the back or he sat next to Spike, silent, watching the scenery and stroking Spike's thigh. Illyria abandoned them in Seattle, claming she was going to find a way back to the Well. Spike didn't care - he just wanted to go - to move - and not look back. Not for a long time. Connor - who still smelled of Angel but now always of blood and smoke as well - held him while he slept, and mostly kept the dreams away.





Continued in Ragdoll.
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Tuesday, March 22nd, 2005 04:07 am (UTC)
Wow. Feral and desperate indeed.

Also broken and violent and despairing and hungry.

This is beautiful prose. Brilliant
Tuesday, March 22nd, 2005 04:22 am (UTC)
thanks! And wow...I'm glad my vid inspired that, because that? was great. I love 'Didn't eat him, 'cause he smelled like belladonna and rue and Angel', just...love it. Great ficlet, I shall check out more of your stuff.
Tuesday, March 22nd, 2005 04:37 am (UTC)
Guuuuuuuhhhhhhhhhh.....

Omg, sooooo lovely. You are so mean for writing dead!Angel, but I loved this soooooooo much.

He didn't talk much in bed, either, but he parted his thighs to Spike's knee and offered his throat - dug his nails into Spike's back and his teeth into Spike's shoulder.

*quiver* I about died at that line. Loved it! Loved. It.

Please please please please write more. Or at least more Sponner.

Thanks so much for this. *wibbles* Thanks :)
Tuesday, March 22nd, 2005 04:40 am (UTC)
Oh my goodness. That's just insanely beautiful. I--I want MORE!!!!! More Conner , oh my gosh, pleeeeeeeaase! more Conner and Spike moving through a twisted burning landscape-- forget everything else I bugged you about, this is it!
I'm like a big ole fucking spoiled brat, aren't I *cheesy grin*

I love you...*anime eyes*

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[identity profile] roxymissrose.livejournal.com - 2008-10-13 10:27 pm (UTC) - Expand
Tuesday, March 22nd, 2005 05:45 am (UTC)
Wow. I don't go for Connor, don't really like him most of the time, but on a rare occasion I'll tolerate him to read stuff and...well, lmao. Damn you. I liked this.

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[identity profile] eyezrthewindows.livejournal.com - 2005-03-22 06:30 am (UTC) - Expand
Tuesday, March 22nd, 2005 06:16 am (UTC)
Oh Christ that's some good shit right there.

I swear this is my second OTP. And occasionally it ties for first. Like now.

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[identity profile] kita0610.livejournal.com - 2005-03-22 06:23 am (UTC) - Expand
Tuesday, March 22nd, 2005 06:23 am (UTC)
Afterwards he would be lazily talkative and tell Spike about his 'real' life and his 'pretend' life. He never seemed to settle on which was which, and Spike never bothered to untangle the skein.

Very evocative. That is an image that will stay with me. This bleak look at post-NFA may be short, but it's powerful.

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[identity profile] ros-fod.livejournal.com - 2005-03-22 06:45 am (UTC) - Expand

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[identity profile] ros-fod.livejournal.com - 2005-03-22 06:46 am (UTC) - Expand

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[identity profile] ros-fod.livejournal.com - 2005-03-22 07:34 am (UTC) - Expand
Tuesday, March 22nd, 2005 07:19 am (UTC)
I love it. Of course Connor would go feral, and of course, Spike would be pragmatic and do exactly what he needed to do to survive.

You know you're not through with this, right? You can't be. Please?

*puppy eyes*
Tuesday, March 22nd, 2005 08:43 am (UTC)
Wow! I loved it!
Violent and desperate and feral. That's beautiful!
You really created a fascinating relationship between Spike and Connor!
And the vid is really perfect and so dark. No wonder it inspired you!
More?
*puppy eyes*
Tuesday, March 22nd, 2005 11:33 am (UTC)
New fic from Miss Tabs. Now that is a nice way to start my morning:-)

I always love how thouroughly you describe taste and smell, it always makes vampires seem just that much more *different*.
Tuesday, March 22nd, 2005 02:38 pm (UTC)
Thanks for the tidbit - I'm totally curious about this video, now! :::makes mental note to check it tonight from home:::
Can I just say (again) how much I LOVE LOVE LOVE the way you write Spike?

::::HUGE HUGS::::
Tuesday, March 22nd, 2005 07:04 pm (UTC)
This is just amazing. Desparing, desperate, wild... I love it!
Tuesday, March 22nd, 2005 07:16 pm (UTC)
Wow. Beautiful images--love the "clock-work stalk," and the ring of bruises around Connor's neck. Just gorgeous. Thank you.

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[identity profile] ros-fod.livejournal.com - 2005-03-23 01:56 am (UTC) - Expand

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[identity profile] ros-fod.livejournal.com - 2005-03-23 04:02 am (UTC) - Expand
Tuesday, March 22nd, 2005 11:53 pm (UTC)
I'm glad you chose the post-apocalyptic setting. I've often wondered what S6 might have been like and Connor, of course, should have been one of the survivors. It was interesting seeing a snippet of what that might have been.

And I also think the Spike-Connor relationship is one with a lot of intriguing potential :>
Wednesday, March 23rd, 2005 01:35 am (UTC)
AUGH!! You keel me with your ficcy awesomeness!

::dies::

Stark, sad, painful, beautiful. I adore this Connor, this Spike and this Illyria. So great.
Wednesday, March 23rd, 2005 03:13 am (UTC)
Argh! My eyes!

I would never read Spike/COnner. And I would definitely never read it just because you wrote it. And I would never find it really, really beautiful in its desperation and pain. Nope. Not me. I didn't see the city landscape crumpling around them and I didn't see the ring of bite marks. Nope. Nope. Nope.

But if I had, I'd say this was well done.
Wednesday, March 23rd, 2005 04:42 am (UTC)
I loved that. Terrific atmosphere, and Spike/Connor will always push my buttons. They're so much alike -- fragile and unbreakable at the same time. Nice job.
Wednesday, March 23rd, 2005 05:55 am (UTC)
Connor ... hello, prettypretty!

As you may have guessed from my reactions to No More Snakes & Ladders Connor, I'm a mite fond of the lad. ::hates on Angel for Connor's sake::

I'm so thrilled to see you writing Connor. And I really liked the pairing and the dynamic you built between them. Even if it's post-Apocalyptic and I am fluffybunny!girl who lives for daisies and kittens and happily ever after... *sniff*

You invoked the ruined landscape beautifully, so stark and awful (in the uncorrupted sense of the word, aka "filled with awe"). And disaffected Spike giving up on the champion thing made my heart ache (because I'm that way), so vividly summoned up. And the intimate yet detached POV *and* relationship between Spike and Connor, how they echo one another...

And of course Illyria -- "clock-work stalk", such a perfect description. And so sad but perfect that she would (supposedly?) return to the Well....

It's a shame you haven't (if I understand correctly) seen Connor's big entrance at the end of season 3 (I think it's s3 -- I get AtS timeline screwed up v easily). I fell in utter adoration of the character at that moment, that first fight and his first words to Angel. Of course, it didn't hurt that I was already a big fan of the actor from his role in the movie Masterminds (opposite Patrick Stewart as the bad guy).

Connor! Spike! *squee*

(I have no good feral!Connor icon, so I give you instead iconage featuring my feral kitty, Gozer.)
Thursday, March 24th, 2005 07:39 am (UTC)
This is absolutely amazing.
Thursday, March 24th, 2005 02:48 pm (UTC)
Exquisite. Dxxoo
Friday, March 25th, 2005 10:58 pm (UTC)
Mmm... tasty. Love your descriptions on Connor, and of Spike and his viewpoint on things.
Sunday, March 27th, 2005 12:20 am (UTC)
Damn, I'm being brainwashed.
I've always been a little 'Eh?' on Connor, but between [livejournal.com profile] witling's JM/VK RPS and this I may just be having a new boy. Damnit. Damnit.
You write so pretty, I think you could seduce me into ANY pairing.
Hrm.
Brilliant, my dear. As always. *winks*
Spike was done with animal blood - done with being a champion or the shadow of one... (Conner could) play the wounded cub and draw them out with his poisoned-sugar smile. Then Spike could pounce, and feast. Connor would watch him - would loot the corpse and burn it, silent.
Oh yummy. *rubs hands together*
And you nailed the well turned little details. but he parted his thighs to Spike's knee... a lithe and needle-fanged cat... Spike fucked him into screams and bit him until he swooned... Spike never bothered to untangle the skein... all wide eyes and sudden lift of the head... silent, watching the scenery and stroking Spike's thigh... Yeah baby. So good.
*glompglomp*

(no subject)

[identity profile] paperk8.livejournal.com - 2005-03-27 01:10 am (UTC) - Expand
Sunday, March 27th, 2005 09:23 pm (UTC)
Your comment to me reminded me that I never said how much I enjoyed this! I'm sorry I didn't feedback earlier - I read it when I was at Fod's and she was the one logged in and I made a mental note. Mental notes sometimes get misplaced :p

I loved this, the idea of Spike and Illyria and Connor surviving in desperation together, bringing death with them, none of them really equipped to live in this world - Spike being the most together of them all and that not saying much. His need to form a family, mirrored in Connor's.

Pale, bruised arms under an old flannel he'd ripped the sleeves out of - worn-out blue jeans and sneakers - ring of bite-marks around his neck and the look of being always just over the edge, in one way or another. Spike wore his demon-face and nothing came near them, and near Carmel they found a Humvee that had the keys in it.

This hit me like a fist to the gut. Thank you SO much.
Monday, March 28th, 2005 04:46 pm (UTC)
*wibble*

Gah! You've hit on one of my secret kinks! Mind you, I'm not saying which:)

Loved it, bay-bee!

(no subject)

[identity profile] chocgood84.livejournal.com - 2005-03-29 02:32 am (UTC) - Expand
Tuesday, April 5th, 2005 05:16 pm (UTC)
Dayum! Thanks for the link - to the vid and the ficlet!

Very feral, and dark, and twisted. Delicious!

I wonder why I didn't read this back when you posted it... Hmmm. I was certainly riding high on a wave of Connor-love, having seen so many AtS eps at Horbling. Odd.
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