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Yes, updating again! I promised i would soon, and here it is.
Previous parts are here.
Also, Lazuli's 'Excessant' yahoo-list is having a 'Twelve Days of Spander' fic...thing. Hehe.
I got the first day, and it's up at The Attic.
And a Partridge in a Pear Tree. Be sure and check back often for more!
Enjoy!
Spike eased his duster onto his shoulders slowly, slowly. Everything hurt, god, fuckin' hurt, and he just wanted to get on with it. Meet the Yn'n, and get the mojo, and the chip would be off. And he would be free. *And those motherfuckers are gonna pay. And pay big.* He ran his hands back through his hair, wincing, and then jerked around as someone knocked on the door. "Yeah?"
"Oh, Spike -" It was Fancy, one of Oliverios human servants. The intricate gold-wire necklace and bracelets didn't come off, and she was dressed in almost nothing. And looking spooked. Spike felt a little shiver of unease go over him.
"You were supposed to be showin' the boy around - getting him a drink and stuff, Fancy." *Maybe I should have told him first - could be he just sent her away...* Spike took in the clinging, translucent sheathe-dress and impossibly tall heels the woman wore. *Maybe he got embarrassed.*
"I know! I'm sorry. Oliverios - told me not to. He - wanted to talk to - to him." Spike growled and the blonde woman flinched, her gaze darting to the floor, her whole body hunching. "I'm sorry! I'm sorry."
"Oh - not your fault, pet. Know you have your orders." Spike fished out his flask and had a long drink. "Where is he?"
"He's - where you left him. Oliverios... I'm sorry," Fancy whispered, and then turned and fled and Spike closed his eyes and took a deep breath - tilted his chin up and set his shoulders. *Doesn't matter. I told him what I do, nothing Oliverios could shock him with, that bastard. Just need to get this done and go...home.* Spike strode out of the dressing room and went up, tapping his fingers nervously on the elevator buttons. Upstairs again, going to the lounge - and he could smell Xander. Could smell sweat and fear and....misery and he growled again. *Bastard - if he hurt him -* He slammed the door open, searching, and Xander was there, just there, standing motionless. And beyond him - *Fucking BASTARD, bloody HELL, oh fuck, fuck, fuck -* Beyond him the room, and a handful of servants cleaning up - swabbing blood off the slick tile walls. Spike walked fast, grabbing Xander's shoulder and turning him, jerking the curtain shut violently.
"Xan -" He was totally unprepared for the boy *my boy, damnit, MINE, shouldn't have seen - should never have seen -* to lunge at him and grab him - arms going around him in a hug that made him wince.
"Spike - god, Spike, I'm sorry....I didn't know, I'm sorry -"
"Xander? Stop that, now. Sorry for what? Pet?" Spike couldn't get him to let go without hurting himself and the boy so he just hugged back, stroking the thick hair, rubbing a slow hand up and down Xander's back.
"What it m-meant, what you - what you were doing -" Xander shivered, crowding closer and Spike shut his eyes. *God, I'm so tired...*
"Pet - stop that. That was... You shouldn't have seen that, that was - something different, that -"
"Don't lie, Spike!" Flash of dark, wet eyes - flash of anger and betrayal. "I've seen the cuts and the bruises and - and everything. Don't try to tell me - god! " Xander abruptly wrenched himself away, scrubbing his hands back through his hair and yanking the curtain back hard enough to tear it off the first two rings.
"Xan -" Spike followed him, reaching out helplessly to touch and Xander flinched away.
"Don't. I should never - should never have listened. Shouldn't have let you -"
"Wrong! Wrong, boy." Spike shoved Xander back hard, wincing with him as his back and the back of his head connected with the window. "You don't let me do anything, you understand? You don't have any say in what I do or how I do it and if I choose to keep you in bloody food and clothes by fucking then I will. You're a bloody child -" Xander's sharp, hurt inhalation made him stop, finally, and he stood for moment, just staring at him. At the shocked, white face and clenched fists and dark, wounded eyes that sparkled with fiercely held-back tears.
"Damnit, Xander, I - I'm sorry. Didn't mean to say that."
"No, it's okay." Xander jerked his head aside, staring at nothing, blinking. "I mean, you're like - a hundred and fifty years old, I guess I am just a - a kid -"
"No, love, no, no, no." Spike reached out slowly and touched Xander's shoulder. When he didn't pull away Spike slowly moved his fingers up, rubbing gently at Xander's neck - sliding his fingers around to the back of his head and finding the spot that made him twitch a little from soreness. "Listen to me Xander. Xander?" Spike put his fingers on Xander's chin, carefully turning his head so that Xander was looking right at him. Biting his lip, and meeting Spike's gaze in shaky defiance. "I'm just...angry. Not at you, love. Angry that - that Oliverios showed you - that. I didn't... I never meant for you to see that."
"Because I'm just a child. Because I'm too stupid and too - too immature -"
"Shhhh...." Spike pulled Xander close, relieved when the boy relaxed into his arms instead of fighting. "No, that's not why. That's not why at all. It's because..." *Because I never, ever wanted you to see me like that... See me - defeated. Because I was. Have been, for the longest time. But not after tonight. Not after the magic. Then - then I'll show you, love. Show you who I am when I'm not...afraid.*
"I know why," Xander said softly, and he pulled away a little, looking at Spike with a sober, almost stern look. "You didn't want me to see for the same reasons I wore long-sleeved shirts to school even on the hot days. I didn't want anybody to know...I had bruises."
Spike looked at Xander - thought about the yelling, and the little flinches, and the hunched stillness whenever he had to go upstairs.
"Yeah, pet. That's exactly why. I'm the Big Bad, yeah?" Xander smiled faintly at him and Spike leaned forward until they were forehead to forehead, his arms around Xander and Xander's arms under the duster, hands locked in the small of Spike's back. "I'm still... I'm so sorry, love, that you had to see. Can you just..." *Forget it? Erase it and never think about it. Never again.*
"I won't - tell. It's a secret, Spike. Won't tell anybody. But I'm not going to forget." Xander tipped his head enough to brush his lips over Spike's mouth, little nothing kiss that made Spike shudder. "I'm never going to forget because nobody... Nobody ever did anything, anything at all..." Xander stopped and then just kissed him, his chin trembling and Spike kissed him back, sliding his hands up to gently hold his face - stroke his thumbs over Xander's jaw. Xander tasted of sweet and salt - tasted of something that was very much like love, but Spike pushed that away.
*Don't push. Don't - expect. Just take what's given and...be satisfied,* he told himself. Told the demon and told his poet's heart. But he was pretty sure neither one listened.
The Yn'n were waiting in a room in the lower level of the club and Oliverios' household kept warily away. It was another lounge, only this one a bit shabbier - meant for employees and not clients. The demons looked like bundles of animate sticks with burning, sulpher-yellow eyes and Spike felt a shiver of unease, seeing them. He'd made his deal - paid them what and how they wanted. But the mojo freaked him out, and Yn'n were so very strange - so alien, even among demons. Oliverios was nowhere to be seen; having made his grand gesture, he'd backed out of any further interaction. Spike was grateful - ripping the head off of the owner's shoulders wouldn't go over well, and that was pretty much what he wanted to do to Oliverios right that minute. Fancy was there, though.
"Is there a car, Fancy?" he asked, watching with amusement as Xander look everywhere but the mostly-naked woman standing not three feet from him.
"Yes, there's a car - right outside. The Yn'n say - it will hurt."
"Good things always do," Spike said, giving her a small smile, and Fancy smiled back, then nodded over at the Yn'n, who shifted and then approached slowly, creaking softly. Spike half-turned to Xander. "Xan - Fancy'll show you the car when we're done here. I guess I'll be a bit - confused."
"Okay," Xander said quietly, but he bit his lip, looking nervous. "Will it - take long?"
"Dunno," Spike shrugged, then turned to face the Yn'n while Fancy drew Xander a few steps away. Five of them, and they surrounded him - reached out hard, twig-grey fingers to touch him - touch his head. Spike felt something like a static-shock at each place where their finger-tips touched. Shock that buzzed and built and tingled all over him. Heat was building up under their fingers as well and Spike shut his eyes and gritted his teeth, riding it out as best he could. But it strengthened - more and more - until he could feel his whole body shuddering. And then the chip fired, and it didn't stop.
When Spike began screaming Xander tried to rush to him but Fancy - surprisingly strong - held him back.
"What they're doing would kill you! Wait - just wait!" she whispered urgently, pushing him back and back until he hit the stucco-covered wall. Spike's body was a rigid arch and abruptly the scream choked off - ran out on a ragged thread. Spike collapsed and the stick-demons clicked to each other for a moment and then stalked away, jerky stop-animation movements that creeped Xander out. He and Fancy both scrambled to get to Spike. Xander knelt down and pulled Spike over onto his back - pulled him up onto his lap, straining with the dead weight.
"Spike? You - in there? Hey - Spike!" Xander stroked Spike's face, hugging him close. The vampire didn't move and Xander glared up at Fancy. *And I'm crying again. Why am I always fucking CRYING? Jesus.* "What do we do? Did they say this would happen?"
Fancy was white, her green eyes huge and scared-looking. She nodded hastily. "They said it would - burn out. They said it would hurt. He's going to be all right! You need to take him home." Fancy crossed the room quickly, avoiding the clutch of stick-demons that clicked and swayed to one side. She opened the door and called out, low and rapid Spanish and then hurried back to Xander. She knelt down opposite him, her eyes darting all around the room.
"Listen!" she hissed. "Spike wanted me to set up something. I did. You tell him one week - like he asked. Hear me?"
"What did -?"
"No! He'll tell you. One week. Understand?" She looked like she might be sick at any moment and Xander pulled Spike a little closer, wondering what in hell was making her...
*Scared. She's scared out of her mind. What the FUCK is going on?* "Yeah - okay, I'll tell him." Xander's hands nervously clutched at the slick leather over Spike's chest - smoothed back his hair, again and again. *God - Spike - you didn't tell me it was gonna be like THIS...* He looked up, startled and wary, when two men - both big, dark, and silent - moved into the room. Fancy said something to them in Spanish and Xander was too upset to bother translating.
"They're going to get Spike to the car and drive you home. In about - an hour someone will come with blood." Fancy looked ready to snap and Xander watched helplessly as the two men bent down and hauled Spike up - carried him effortlessly out the door. He scrambled to his feet and followed, shooting Fancy one last, mistrustful glance.
"Right. Blood. Thanks," he added, and then he was around the corner and hurrying after the men, biting his lip to keep himself from yelling at them to be careful. A bulky sort of sedan waited in the alley and the men got Spike into the back seat and then silently climbed into the front as Xander scrambled in, pulling Spike close to him. The car growled to life and nosed out of the alley into traffic - there was always traffic - and began a slow drive home. A trickle of blood was coming down from Spike's nose and Xander wiped at it with the sleeve of his shirt. Spike hadn't bothered taking off the liner and Xander wiped at that as well, where tears had tracked it and smudged it.
"Spike? I'm here. It's Xander, and I'm here, I've got you." He kissed Spike's forehead and rested his cheek there, murmuring softly. Hoping Spike could hear him - hoping he was comforted. "Going home, we're going home...you bastard, you should have told me... Almost there, almost there... God, I don't - don't know what I'd do if... " Xander hugged Spike tighter, rocking him. Not saying that out loud, even if Spike was unconscious. *You have to be better. Have to wake UP. Hate this... God, this shouldn't hurt so much but it DOES, it really does... I don't know...what you feel for me, Spike but... I think - I think I...love you. Think I love you...*
When they got home, Xander stripped off the clothes that reeked of the club - got a bowl of hot water and a washcloth and Spike's favorite clove soap and gently, carefully, washed him. Did it in his own bed, because Xander knew he'd get the sheets wet. Then he carefully got Spike over his shoulder and into the vampire's own bed, and did a quick wash-up and change into soft cotton pants. Then he slipped into the bed next to Spike and wrapped himself as close as possible around the still, cool form. Warming him, and holding him, and just being there, because he hated the thought of Spike waking up alone even for a minute. He could hear anyone at the door, and the phone was right there, and he wasn't going anywhere at all.
*Yeah, I do. Love you, Spike, even though you don't love me. Won't make you say so - won't push you to that. But I do, and I'm not scared of it anymore.* He kissed Spike's mouth, and his cheek and the tip of his nose - wished Spike would wake up, like Sleeping Beauty. And settled in to wait.
Previous parts are here.
Also, Lazuli's 'Excessant' yahoo-list is having a 'Twelve Days of Spander' fic...thing. Hehe.
I got the first day, and it's up at The Attic.
And a Partridge in a Pear Tree. Be sure and check back often for more!
Enjoy!
Spike eased his duster onto his shoulders slowly, slowly. Everything hurt, god, fuckin' hurt, and he just wanted to get on with it. Meet the Yn'n, and get the mojo, and the chip would be off. And he would be free. *And those motherfuckers are gonna pay. And pay big.* He ran his hands back through his hair, wincing, and then jerked around as someone knocked on the door. "Yeah?"
"Oh, Spike -" It was Fancy, one of Oliverios human servants. The intricate gold-wire necklace and bracelets didn't come off, and she was dressed in almost nothing. And looking spooked. Spike felt a little shiver of unease go over him.
"You were supposed to be showin' the boy around - getting him a drink and stuff, Fancy." *Maybe I should have told him first - could be he just sent her away...* Spike took in the clinging, translucent sheathe-dress and impossibly tall heels the woman wore. *Maybe he got embarrassed.*
"I know! I'm sorry. Oliverios - told me not to. He - wanted to talk to - to him." Spike growled and the blonde woman flinched, her gaze darting to the floor, her whole body hunching. "I'm sorry! I'm sorry."
"Oh - not your fault, pet. Know you have your orders." Spike fished out his flask and had a long drink. "Where is he?"
"He's - where you left him. Oliverios... I'm sorry," Fancy whispered, and then turned and fled and Spike closed his eyes and took a deep breath - tilted his chin up and set his shoulders. *Doesn't matter. I told him what I do, nothing Oliverios could shock him with, that bastard. Just need to get this done and go...home.* Spike strode out of the dressing room and went up, tapping his fingers nervously on the elevator buttons. Upstairs again, going to the lounge - and he could smell Xander. Could smell sweat and fear and....misery and he growled again. *Bastard - if he hurt him -* He slammed the door open, searching, and Xander was there, just there, standing motionless. And beyond him - *Fucking BASTARD, bloody HELL, oh fuck, fuck, fuck -* Beyond him the room, and a handful of servants cleaning up - swabbing blood off the slick tile walls. Spike walked fast, grabbing Xander's shoulder and turning him, jerking the curtain shut violently.
"Xan -" He was totally unprepared for the boy *my boy, damnit, MINE, shouldn't have seen - should never have seen -* to lunge at him and grab him - arms going around him in a hug that made him wince.
"Spike - god, Spike, I'm sorry....I didn't know, I'm sorry -"
"Xander? Stop that, now. Sorry for what? Pet?" Spike couldn't get him to let go without hurting himself and the boy so he just hugged back, stroking the thick hair, rubbing a slow hand up and down Xander's back.
"What it m-meant, what you - what you were doing -" Xander shivered, crowding closer and Spike shut his eyes. *God, I'm so tired...*
"Pet - stop that. That was... You shouldn't have seen that, that was - something different, that -"
"Don't lie, Spike!" Flash of dark, wet eyes - flash of anger and betrayal. "I've seen the cuts and the bruises and - and everything. Don't try to tell me - god! " Xander abruptly wrenched himself away, scrubbing his hands back through his hair and yanking the curtain back hard enough to tear it off the first two rings.
"Xan -" Spike followed him, reaching out helplessly to touch and Xander flinched away.
"Don't. I should never - should never have listened. Shouldn't have let you -"
"Wrong! Wrong, boy." Spike shoved Xander back hard, wincing with him as his back and the back of his head connected with the window. "You don't let me do anything, you understand? You don't have any say in what I do or how I do it and if I choose to keep you in bloody food and clothes by fucking then I will. You're a bloody child -" Xander's sharp, hurt inhalation made him stop, finally, and he stood for moment, just staring at him. At the shocked, white face and clenched fists and dark, wounded eyes that sparkled with fiercely held-back tears.
"Damnit, Xander, I - I'm sorry. Didn't mean to say that."
"No, it's okay." Xander jerked his head aside, staring at nothing, blinking. "I mean, you're like - a hundred and fifty years old, I guess I am just a - a kid -"
"No, love, no, no, no." Spike reached out slowly and touched Xander's shoulder. When he didn't pull away Spike slowly moved his fingers up, rubbing gently at Xander's neck - sliding his fingers around to the back of his head and finding the spot that made him twitch a little from soreness. "Listen to me Xander. Xander?" Spike put his fingers on Xander's chin, carefully turning his head so that Xander was looking right at him. Biting his lip, and meeting Spike's gaze in shaky defiance. "I'm just...angry. Not at you, love. Angry that - that Oliverios showed you - that. I didn't... I never meant for you to see that."
"Because I'm just a child. Because I'm too stupid and too - too immature -"
"Shhhh...." Spike pulled Xander close, relieved when the boy relaxed into his arms instead of fighting. "No, that's not why. That's not why at all. It's because..." *Because I never, ever wanted you to see me like that... See me - defeated. Because I was. Have been, for the longest time. But not after tonight. Not after the magic. Then - then I'll show you, love. Show you who I am when I'm not...afraid.*
"I know why," Xander said softly, and he pulled away a little, looking at Spike with a sober, almost stern look. "You didn't want me to see for the same reasons I wore long-sleeved shirts to school even on the hot days. I didn't want anybody to know...I had bruises."
Spike looked at Xander - thought about the yelling, and the little flinches, and the hunched stillness whenever he had to go upstairs.
"Yeah, pet. That's exactly why. I'm the Big Bad, yeah?" Xander smiled faintly at him and Spike leaned forward until they were forehead to forehead, his arms around Xander and Xander's arms under the duster, hands locked in the small of Spike's back. "I'm still... I'm so sorry, love, that you had to see. Can you just..." *Forget it? Erase it and never think about it. Never again.*
"I won't - tell. It's a secret, Spike. Won't tell anybody. But I'm not going to forget." Xander tipped his head enough to brush his lips over Spike's mouth, little nothing kiss that made Spike shudder. "I'm never going to forget because nobody... Nobody ever did anything, anything at all..." Xander stopped and then just kissed him, his chin trembling and Spike kissed him back, sliding his hands up to gently hold his face - stroke his thumbs over Xander's jaw. Xander tasted of sweet and salt - tasted of something that was very much like love, but Spike pushed that away.
*Don't push. Don't - expect. Just take what's given and...be satisfied,* he told himself. Told the demon and told his poet's heart. But he was pretty sure neither one listened.
The Yn'n were waiting in a room in the lower level of the club and Oliverios' household kept warily away. It was another lounge, only this one a bit shabbier - meant for employees and not clients. The demons looked like bundles of animate sticks with burning, sulpher-yellow eyes and Spike felt a shiver of unease, seeing them. He'd made his deal - paid them what and how they wanted. But the mojo freaked him out, and Yn'n were so very strange - so alien, even among demons. Oliverios was nowhere to be seen; having made his grand gesture, he'd backed out of any further interaction. Spike was grateful - ripping the head off of the owner's shoulders wouldn't go over well, and that was pretty much what he wanted to do to Oliverios right that minute. Fancy was there, though.
"Is there a car, Fancy?" he asked, watching with amusement as Xander look everywhere but the mostly-naked woman standing not three feet from him.
"Yes, there's a car - right outside. The Yn'n say - it will hurt."
"Good things always do," Spike said, giving her a small smile, and Fancy smiled back, then nodded over at the Yn'n, who shifted and then approached slowly, creaking softly. Spike half-turned to Xander. "Xan - Fancy'll show you the car when we're done here. I guess I'll be a bit - confused."
"Okay," Xander said quietly, but he bit his lip, looking nervous. "Will it - take long?"
"Dunno," Spike shrugged, then turned to face the Yn'n while Fancy drew Xander a few steps away. Five of them, and they surrounded him - reached out hard, twig-grey fingers to touch him - touch his head. Spike felt something like a static-shock at each place where their finger-tips touched. Shock that buzzed and built and tingled all over him. Heat was building up under their fingers as well and Spike shut his eyes and gritted his teeth, riding it out as best he could. But it strengthened - more and more - until he could feel his whole body shuddering. And then the chip fired, and it didn't stop.
When Spike began screaming Xander tried to rush to him but Fancy - surprisingly strong - held him back.
"What they're doing would kill you! Wait - just wait!" she whispered urgently, pushing him back and back until he hit the stucco-covered wall. Spike's body was a rigid arch and abruptly the scream choked off - ran out on a ragged thread. Spike collapsed and the stick-demons clicked to each other for a moment and then stalked away, jerky stop-animation movements that creeped Xander out. He and Fancy both scrambled to get to Spike. Xander knelt down and pulled Spike over onto his back - pulled him up onto his lap, straining with the dead weight.
"Spike? You - in there? Hey - Spike!" Xander stroked Spike's face, hugging him close. The vampire didn't move and Xander glared up at Fancy. *And I'm crying again. Why am I always fucking CRYING? Jesus.* "What do we do? Did they say this would happen?"
Fancy was white, her green eyes huge and scared-looking. She nodded hastily. "They said it would - burn out. They said it would hurt. He's going to be all right! You need to take him home." Fancy crossed the room quickly, avoiding the clutch of stick-demons that clicked and swayed to one side. She opened the door and called out, low and rapid Spanish and then hurried back to Xander. She knelt down opposite him, her eyes darting all around the room.
"Listen!" she hissed. "Spike wanted me to set up something. I did. You tell him one week - like he asked. Hear me?"
"What did -?"
"No! He'll tell you. One week. Understand?" She looked like she might be sick at any moment and Xander pulled Spike a little closer, wondering what in hell was making her...
*Scared. She's scared out of her mind. What the FUCK is going on?* "Yeah - okay, I'll tell him." Xander's hands nervously clutched at the slick leather over Spike's chest - smoothed back his hair, again and again. *God - Spike - you didn't tell me it was gonna be like THIS...* He looked up, startled and wary, when two men - both big, dark, and silent - moved into the room. Fancy said something to them in Spanish and Xander was too upset to bother translating.
"They're going to get Spike to the car and drive you home. In about - an hour someone will come with blood." Fancy looked ready to snap and Xander watched helplessly as the two men bent down and hauled Spike up - carried him effortlessly out the door. He scrambled to his feet and followed, shooting Fancy one last, mistrustful glance.
"Right. Blood. Thanks," he added, and then he was around the corner and hurrying after the men, biting his lip to keep himself from yelling at them to be careful. A bulky sort of sedan waited in the alley and the men got Spike into the back seat and then silently climbed into the front as Xander scrambled in, pulling Spike close to him. The car growled to life and nosed out of the alley into traffic - there was always traffic - and began a slow drive home. A trickle of blood was coming down from Spike's nose and Xander wiped at it with the sleeve of his shirt. Spike hadn't bothered taking off the liner and Xander wiped at that as well, where tears had tracked it and smudged it.
"Spike? I'm here. It's Xander, and I'm here, I've got you." He kissed Spike's forehead and rested his cheek there, murmuring softly. Hoping Spike could hear him - hoping he was comforted. "Going home, we're going home...you bastard, you should have told me... Almost there, almost there... God, I don't - don't know what I'd do if... " Xander hugged Spike tighter, rocking him. Not saying that out loud, even if Spike was unconscious. *You have to be better. Have to wake UP. Hate this... God, this shouldn't hurt so much but it DOES, it really does... I don't know...what you feel for me, Spike but... I think - I think I...love you. Think I love you...*
When they got home, Xander stripped off the clothes that reeked of the club - got a bowl of hot water and a washcloth and Spike's favorite clove soap and gently, carefully, washed him. Did it in his own bed, because Xander knew he'd get the sheets wet. Then he carefully got Spike over his shoulder and into the vampire's own bed, and did a quick wash-up and change into soft cotton pants. Then he slipped into the bed next to Spike and wrapped himself as close as possible around the still, cool form. Warming him, and holding him, and just being there, because he hated the thought of Spike waking up alone even for a minute. He could hear anyone at the door, and the phone was right there, and he wasn't going anywhere at all.
*Yeah, I do. Love you, Spike, even though you don't love me. Won't make you say so - won't push you to that. But I do, and I'm not scared of it anymore.* He kissed Spike's mouth, and his cheek and the tip of his nose - wished Spike would wake up, like Sleeping Beauty. And settled in to wait.
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:)
Yay!!
*pets you*