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Yup, there's some more.
:)
See the previous post for...previous.
*Foolish, stupid...BOY. Human boy...scared boy...* Spike sighed, and pushed his face gently into the swath of loosely curling hair that lay over Xander's shoulder, breathing in the scent of himself and the boy mingled together.
*Christ, what is he saying to me? What is he...? He can't FEEL anything for me - he hates me!* But Spike, Slayer of Slayers and William the Bloody, the vampire who'd not only hunted with Angelus and Darla but survived them, too - didn't lie to himself. Others, hell yes, at the drop of a hat. To himself - never. Xander hadn't actually hated him for a long time - for months, truth be told. It had been a slow shifting of perspective - a gradual awakening to some facts that had previously been ignored or maybe just...deliberately overlooked. But Xander didn't hate. Xander trusted him, and liked him, and by all that was sacred and profane, the boy was as sweet in bed as any Spike had ever had. Sweeter, even, because he came to Spike all new and untried and willing, with nothing held back and no hidden agenda.
*And that's a first, isn't it? 'Cause when has anybody ever just said 'here, take me' and not asked - demanded - for something back?* Spike sighed again, and shifted a little closer, soaking up heat from Xander like a snake on a rock and Xander moved slightly in his sleep, inching closer. God, it felt good.
*He's going BACK. He's going to be with his mates again and he's going to...forget about this. Forget that we almost made a family, forget everything...* Fuck. Who was the foolish, scared boy now? He sounded...much too much like William, a hundred and more years ago when he'd told Angelus he and Dru were to be together forever. That it was destiny. Angelus had laughed - had taken Dru away into the other room and he'd had to listen to them fucking the rest of the night.
*Angelus isn't here, now - it's just the Watcher and the Slayer and red-witch who'll laugh...and Xander... Fuck, fuck, FUCK.* Spike shoved it all aside - wished he'd taken a drink of that damn whiskey himself. It was mid-afternoon, and he was still tired, and he just - *Just wanted a little more time...* he thought, and closed his eyes, and told himself to sleep.
When Spike woke again he could tell it was hours later - near evening - and he could hear Xander on the phone in the other room. He didn't listen too closely, just eased over into the space Xander had left, feeling the last bit of heat wisping away and trying to capture it. Xander stopped talking - turned off the phone and came to lean in the doorway.
"You awake?"
"Yeah. Who called?" Spike sat up a little, resting on one elbow. Xander was only in his jeans, the fly and button not even done up. Spike's gaze tracked the long, straight hairs that made a path from his navel to the thicker hair at his groin. Xander's heart kicked up a notch and he looked back up at the boy's face.
"It was Dawn. She - wanted to spend the night next door, I told her it was fine." Xander hesitated for a long moment and then he came forward and sat on the edge of the bed. He looked down at his knees, his hands knotted between them, and Spike resisted the urge to reach out and stroke his back.
"Spike, I - I'm sorry. For earlier. I didn't mean to freak out -"
"S'okay..." Spike murmured, and he went ahead and reached out - ran his fingers lightly down Xander's back, pausing to rub gently at the small of his back. Xander shivered just a little. His heart was pounding harder now, and Spike could smell the surge of nervous sweat that broke out on him. "Pet, what is it?"
"Listen, Spike. I - I want... I don't...want...togobacktoSunnydale." He gasped the last bit out and squeezed his eyes shut, head bowed, and Spike took a moment to play it back over in his mind - sort the babble into words.
"You don't want -? I don't - understand." He kept his hand rubbing in slow, slow circles despite the leap of excitement in his belly. Xander sighed and sagged back into his touch a little, his hands clenched tight enough to make his knuckles white. He opened his eyes but kept his gaze firmly fixed on his hands.
"Look, there's just - there's nothing there for me! I don't have a job anymore or a place to live...and I'm not moving back in with my parents. Anya has moved on in such a big way it's not even funny and I don't want that now, anyway...if I ever really did..." He stopped, biting his lip, and Spike just watched him, waiting.
*Waiting for what? For him to say he wants...this? Us? Not his one true love. Not his soul mate. He's just a sweet boy, just...fuck...just lonely.*
"Can I - can I come back with you? Drive back? And you could just...take me somewhere... I had a job up in Oxnard for a while, maybe I could -"
"Xander..." Spike stopped him - stopped himself. Ruthlessly squashed the excitement that was coiling through him - the emotions he wasn't sure he wanted to feel, again. "You're mates are waiting for you, though. Slayer an' Red - they'll be happy to see you."
"Well, sure. For a few days. And then it'll be back to 'Xander, what job did you get fired from today' and...'Are you dating someone yet?' and...Willow thinks she can fix everything with cookies and Buffy just doesn't wanna know and... I just - can't do that anymore, Spike." Xander's fingers kept twisting around themselves and he kept staring at them. "I liked being here! I liked - being somewhere different, and...and taking care of Dawn... Made me feel...like I could really do something. Like I was worth...something. You know?" He finally looked up at Spike, his eyes huge and dark and full of longing - full of need.
*Oh fuck. Jesus Christ, yeah. I know what that feels like, love, I know...* Spike stared back, unsure of what, exactly, he wanted to say and he saw the shutters go up - saw the shield lift, hiding the bruised little boy behind dented steel.
"I guess...you'd rather go back alone, huh?" Xander mumbled and Spike sat up fast - put his hand on Xander's shoulder and squeezed, just a little.
"Now hang on, pet. Not what I said. In fact, I didn't say anything, did I? I'm just... I'm surprised, is all. You really - don't want to go back? Go back home?" Xander shrugged, looking down at his hands again - slowly uncurling them.
"This place has felt more like home - like a real home - than Sunnydale has in a long, long time." He looked back up at Spike, and the need and longing were back, and Spike could feel his resolve crumbling - his denial slipping. *Won't last, won't last... First human I take out, he'll bolt... First time I kiss him with blood on my lips he'll scurry for home... Oh FUCK but I want him...* Spike was utterly bewildered. His feelings, his damnable, laughable, human feelings - had gone from grudging respect to lust to...to affection. And his happiness at having a family - even a temporary, not-quite-right one had become a craving. An addiction. He couldn't do without now. Didn't want to.
*I'm the one said I wasn't his...one true love and here I am actin' like a soddin' girl... Actin' like...a lonely boy... Christ. We're a pair, we are... Always hated being alone.*
"I'm goin' back, you know. Stuff there I need to get - some things I...don't wanna leave behind. After that, though... I'm leaving, Xander. I'm done with the Hellmouth and everything in it." Xander gaped at him.
"You... But, you love Buffy! Aren't you - aren't you gonna go back and, you know - stalk her some more?" Tiny bit of a smile in the corner of the boy's mouth and Spike laughed softly.
"My Slayer-stalking days are over, pet. I got out of there - got away from her and... Realized a few things. It's over. It never really was and now it's...over. I'm gonna - do a little traveling. Like the old days, with Dru. Think you can handle that?" Xander's full-on smile, when it came, was slow and sweet and wide open - full of untarnished joy and blooming hope.
"Yeah, I can handle that, Spike. I can handle...a lot." And he shot a look of utter wantonness at Spike.
"Oh, I'll bet you can, pet... Bet you can. Wanna show me what you can handle?" Spike grinned, and Xander finally relaxed and leaned over Spike, laughing. His kiss was confident - devouring - and Spike lay back under him and let him do what he wanted. Let him trace over every inch of Spike's body with his lips and his tongue and his teeth; the rough skin of this callused fingers rubbing with delicious friction over his nipples and ribs and hip-bones - over the insides of his thighs and the tip of his cock. Xander - a child of his generation - seemed fascinated by the uncut state and explored with wide-eyed wonder until Spike thought he was going to explode.
"Christ - Xan - you gotta...do something...fuck!" Spike bucked and froze when Xander's mouth closed around the tip of his cock, the heat and slippery slide of it making him pant for breath he didn't need.
"That any good?" Xander murmured, lips buzzing against him and Spike twisted the sheets in his fists, his hips just working, slide and twist and grind, totally out of his control.
"It's lovely, pet, it's - fuckin' brilliant -"
"Mmmm..." Xander hummed, sinking a little lower, his teeth catching a tiny bit and his mouth like liquid flame. His hands were stroking Spike's belly - pinching at his nipples and then dragging down his body to his thighs. Xander stroked the sensitive skin in the crease between thigh and groin and then took Spike's balls in his hands, kneading lightly, tugging and rolling, and Spike pulled his legs up, letting his knees fall open wide, sobbing in a breath.
"Xan, please love, need you to -" Xander's eyes flicked up to look at him - a wanton's look from under thick lashes and ruffled locks of hair. His own body was writhing slowly on the sheet, oiled in sweat and all but drowning Spike in musk and anise and salt-sweet scent. *God, oh god, just his mouth, just...*
"What do you n-need, Spike?" Xander whispered, his breath shivering over Spike's belly and Spike sat up, lifting Xander by the shoulders so he could kiss him - fuck his tongue into that mouth and taste their mingled flavors.
"Wanna fuck me, pet? Like you did before? I want that - want your heat in me -" Xander's eyes were dilated nearly black - his cock was slicked with pre-come and dark with blood, and when Spike put his hand there and stroked Xander quivered all over.
"Fuck - yeah, I - god, god!" Spike froze, and Xander did, and then Xander was scrambling over him to grab the little jar of unguent they'd used before. The ginger-musk-cinnamon of the cream hit them both and Xander breathed deeply - scooped out two fingers-full and smoothed it over himself.
"That's all you need, love, c'mon now - Xan, c'mon -" Spike just wanted him - just wanted him in, just wanted him to push that heat inside him - surround him with it - weigh him down. He pulled his knees up, waiting, and Xander rubbed the last of the cream over Spike's cock, panting now. He lined himself up and pushed slowly - so slowly.
"Oh, fuck..." he breathed, eyes closing, back arching, and Spike pulled his knees wider - arched his hips up as far as he could, willing the boy to move, for fuck's sake.
"Xan - Xan, just do it, just -"
"Yeah -" Xander sounded dazed and suddenly he pushed, sliding home, and Spike heard a thin, breathy wail come out of his own mouth, the burn and stretch and pressure almost too much, for a moment. Xander pushed hard against him, pelvis tight to Spike's ass and then he started to thrust and Spike just gave in, gave up - put his calves over Xander's shoulders and pulled him close and kissed him breathless. The salt-anise taste of Xander's skin was like a drug and Spike licked his throat and collarbones - licked his chest and jaw and kissed him again and again, clenching around the bar of solid heat that was sending him to Nirvana.
"Right? Is this right?" Xander gasped, angling his hips a little, hitting that spot and Spike felt the demon rise, snarling and open-mouthed. Heard Xander's heart skitter-thump and then pound faster.
"Yeah, there, there - gods you're lovely, so lovely pet, so fuckin' good - hard as you like pet, god...Xander, Xander..." *Babbling like a fool and fuckin' LOOK at him, like a fuckin' angel, like... oh yes, oh there...*
"Spike - sssss...Spike!" Xander's pounding rhythm suddenly tripped and fumbled and re-doubled and Xander's skin was gooseflesh and his eyes were wide and unseeing and Spike felt the pulse of him inside his body - felt the sudden, extra swelling and the jet of liquid heat and he roared, lifting his hips as best he could, fingers scrabbling at the sheets and then at Xander's ribs and back and Xander's hand was on his cock, stroking hard and rough and fuck...
It was ten minutes, recovering from that, and Spike let his mouth move in lazy circles over Xander's shoulder and bicep - over his throat. The weight on him was pleasant, as was the warm throb of battered muscle between his legs and when Xander finally slipped free of him they both sighed.
"Spike...want you to do that to me. Next time, do that to me. You looked -" Xander lifted his head, flushed and sweaty, and his eyes were full of laughter and awe. "You looked like you were in heaven or... Or something."
"Or something, pet. I can do that for you, Xan. I can do that no problem." Spike smiled and put his arms around Xander's body - rolled them on their sides and snuggled the boy under his chin, one leg possessively over Xander's and his arms tight around him. "Gonna be good, pet. Me and you, it's gonna be good."
He could feel Xander smiling into his chest, and he smiled himself and drifted slowly into sleep, counting heartbeats.
And yes, there will be more! I'm not sure how much more, but more for sure.
:)
See the previous post for...previous.
*Foolish, stupid...BOY. Human boy...scared boy...* Spike sighed, and pushed his face gently into the swath of loosely curling hair that lay over Xander's shoulder, breathing in the scent of himself and the boy mingled together.
*Christ, what is he saying to me? What is he...? He can't FEEL anything for me - he hates me!* But Spike, Slayer of Slayers and William the Bloody, the vampire who'd not only hunted with Angelus and Darla but survived them, too - didn't lie to himself. Others, hell yes, at the drop of a hat. To himself - never. Xander hadn't actually hated him for a long time - for months, truth be told. It had been a slow shifting of perspective - a gradual awakening to some facts that had previously been ignored or maybe just...deliberately overlooked. But Xander didn't hate. Xander trusted him, and liked him, and by all that was sacred and profane, the boy was as sweet in bed as any Spike had ever had. Sweeter, even, because he came to Spike all new and untried and willing, with nothing held back and no hidden agenda.
*And that's a first, isn't it? 'Cause when has anybody ever just said 'here, take me' and not asked - demanded - for something back?* Spike sighed again, and shifted a little closer, soaking up heat from Xander like a snake on a rock and Xander moved slightly in his sleep, inching closer. God, it felt good.
*He's going BACK. He's going to be with his mates again and he's going to...forget about this. Forget that we almost made a family, forget everything...* Fuck. Who was the foolish, scared boy now? He sounded...much too much like William, a hundred and more years ago when he'd told Angelus he and Dru were to be together forever. That it was destiny. Angelus had laughed - had taken Dru away into the other room and he'd had to listen to them fucking the rest of the night.
*Angelus isn't here, now - it's just the Watcher and the Slayer and red-witch who'll laugh...and Xander... Fuck, fuck, FUCK.* Spike shoved it all aside - wished he'd taken a drink of that damn whiskey himself. It was mid-afternoon, and he was still tired, and he just - *Just wanted a little more time...* he thought, and closed his eyes, and told himself to sleep.
When Spike woke again he could tell it was hours later - near evening - and he could hear Xander on the phone in the other room. He didn't listen too closely, just eased over into the space Xander had left, feeling the last bit of heat wisping away and trying to capture it. Xander stopped talking - turned off the phone and came to lean in the doorway.
"You awake?"
"Yeah. Who called?" Spike sat up a little, resting on one elbow. Xander was only in his jeans, the fly and button not even done up. Spike's gaze tracked the long, straight hairs that made a path from his navel to the thicker hair at his groin. Xander's heart kicked up a notch and he looked back up at the boy's face.
"It was Dawn. She - wanted to spend the night next door, I told her it was fine." Xander hesitated for a long moment and then he came forward and sat on the edge of the bed. He looked down at his knees, his hands knotted between them, and Spike resisted the urge to reach out and stroke his back.
"Spike, I - I'm sorry. For earlier. I didn't mean to freak out -"
"S'okay..." Spike murmured, and he went ahead and reached out - ran his fingers lightly down Xander's back, pausing to rub gently at the small of his back. Xander shivered just a little. His heart was pounding harder now, and Spike could smell the surge of nervous sweat that broke out on him. "Pet, what is it?"
"Listen, Spike. I - I want... I don't...want...togobacktoSunnydale." He gasped the last bit out and squeezed his eyes shut, head bowed, and Spike took a moment to play it back over in his mind - sort the babble into words.
"You don't want -? I don't - understand." He kept his hand rubbing in slow, slow circles despite the leap of excitement in his belly. Xander sighed and sagged back into his touch a little, his hands clenched tight enough to make his knuckles white. He opened his eyes but kept his gaze firmly fixed on his hands.
"Look, there's just - there's nothing there for me! I don't have a job anymore or a place to live...and I'm not moving back in with my parents. Anya has moved on in such a big way it's not even funny and I don't want that now, anyway...if I ever really did..." He stopped, biting his lip, and Spike just watched him, waiting.
*Waiting for what? For him to say he wants...this? Us? Not his one true love. Not his soul mate. He's just a sweet boy, just...fuck...just lonely.*
"Can I - can I come back with you? Drive back? And you could just...take me somewhere... I had a job up in Oxnard for a while, maybe I could -"
"Xander..." Spike stopped him - stopped himself. Ruthlessly squashed the excitement that was coiling through him - the emotions he wasn't sure he wanted to feel, again. "You're mates are waiting for you, though. Slayer an' Red - they'll be happy to see you."
"Well, sure. For a few days. And then it'll be back to 'Xander, what job did you get fired from today' and...'Are you dating someone yet?' and...Willow thinks she can fix everything with cookies and Buffy just doesn't wanna know and... I just - can't do that anymore, Spike." Xander's fingers kept twisting around themselves and he kept staring at them. "I liked being here! I liked - being somewhere different, and...and taking care of Dawn... Made me feel...like I could really do something. Like I was worth...something. You know?" He finally looked up at Spike, his eyes huge and dark and full of longing - full of need.
*Oh fuck. Jesus Christ, yeah. I know what that feels like, love, I know...* Spike stared back, unsure of what, exactly, he wanted to say and he saw the shutters go up - saw the shield lift, hiding the bruised little boy behind dented steel.
"I guess...you'd rather go back alone, huh?" Xander mumbled and Spike sat up fast - put his hand on Xander's shoulder and squeezed, just a little.
"Now hang on, pet. Not what I said. In fact, I didn't say anything, did I? I'm just... I'm surprised, is all. You really - don't want to go back? Go back home?" Xander shrugged, looking down at his hands again - slowly uncurling them.
"This place has felt more like home - like a real home - than Sunnydale has in a long, long time." He looked back up at Spike, and the need and longing were back, and Spike could feel his resolve crumbling - his denial slipping. *Won't last, won't last... First human I take out, he'll bolt... First time I kiss him with blood on my lips he'll scurry for home... Oh FUCK but I want him...* Spike was utterly bewildered. His feelings, his damnable, laughable, human feelings - had gone from grudging respect to lust to...to affection. And his happiness at having a family - even a temporary, not-quite-right one had become a craving. An addiction. He couldn't do without now. Didn't want to.
*I'm the one said I wasn't his...one true love and here I am actin' like a soddin' girl... Actin' like...a lonely boy... Christ. We're a pair, we are... Always hated being alone.*
"I'm goin' back, you know. Stuff there I need to get - some things I...don't wanna leave behind. After that, though... I'm leaving, Xander. I'm done with the Hellmouth and everything in it." Xander gaped at him.
"You... But, you love Buffy! Aren't you - aren't you gonna go back and, you know - stalk her some more?" Tiny bit of a smile in the corner of the boy's mouth and Spike laughed softly.
"My Slayer-stalking days are over, pet. I got out of there - got away from her and... Realized a few things. It's over. It never really was and now it's...over. I'm gonna - do a little traveling. Like the old days, with Dru. Think you can handle that?" Xander's full-on smile, when it came, was slow and sweet and wide open - full of untarnished joy and blooming hope.
"Yeah, I can handle that, Spike. I can handle...a lot." And he shot a look of utter wantonness at Spike.
"Oh, I'll bet you can, pet... Bet you can. Wanna show me what you can handle?" Spike grinned, and Xander finally relaxed and leaned over Spike, laughing. His kiss was confident - devouring - and Spike lay back under him and let him do what he wanted. Let him trace over every inch of Spike's body with his lips and his tongue and his teeth; the rough skin of this callused fingers rubbing with delicious friction over his nipples and ribs and hip-bones - over the insides of his thighs and the tip of his cock. Xander - a child of his generation - seemed fascinated by the uncut state and explored with wide-eyed wonder until Spike thought he was going to explode.
"Christ - Xan - you gotta...do something...fuck!" Spike bucked and froze when Xander's mouth closed around the tip of his cock, the heat and slippery slide of it making him pant for breath he didn't need.
"That any good?" Xander murmured, lips buzzing against him and Spike twisted the sheets in his fists, his hips just working, slide and twist and grind, totally out of his control.
"It's lovely, pet, it's - fuckin' brilliant -"
"Mmmm..." Xander hummed, sinking a little lower, his teeth catching a tiny bit and his mouth like liquid flame. His hands were stroking Spike's belly - pinching at his nipples and then dragging down his body to his thighs. Xander stroked the sensitive skin in the crease between thigh and groin and then took Spike's balls in his hands, kneading lightly, tugging and rolling, and Spike pulled his legs up, letting his knees fall open wide, sobbing in a breath.
"Xan, please love, need you to -" Xander's eyes flicked up to look at him - a wanton's look from under thick lashes and ruffled locks of hair. His own body was writhing slowly on the sheet, oiled in sweat and all but drowning Spike in musk and anise and salt-sweet scent. *God, oh god, just his mouth, just...*
"What do you n-need, Spike?" Xander whispered, his breath shivering over Spike's belly and Spike sat up, lifting Xander by the shoulders so he could kiss him - fuck his tongue into that mouth and taste their mingled flavors.
"Wanna fuck me, pet? Like you did before? I want that - want your heat in me -" Xander's eyes were dilated nearly black - his cock was slicked with pre-come and dark with blood, and when Spike put his hand there and stroked Xander quivered all over.
"Fuck - yeah, I - god, god!" Spike froze, and Xander did, and then Xander was scrambling over him to grab the little jar of unguent they'd used before. The ginger-musk-cinnamon of the cream hit them both and Xander breathed deeply - scooped out two fingers-full and smoothed it over himself.
"That's all you need, love, c'mon now - Xan, c'mon -" Spike just wanted him - just wanted him in, just wanted him to push that heat inside him - surround him with it - weigh him down. He pulled his knees up, waiting, and Xander rubbed the last of the cream over Spike's cock, panting now. He lined himself up and pushed slowly - so slowly.
"Oh, fuck..." he breathed, eyes closing, back arching, and Spike pulled his knees wider - arched his hips up as far as he could, willing the boy to move, for fuck's sake.
"Xan - Xan, just do it, just -"
"Yeah -" Xander sounded dazed and suddenly he pushed, sliding home, and Spike heard a thin, breathy wail come out of his own mouth, the burn and stretch and pressure almost too much, for a moment. Xander pushed hard against him, pelvis tight to Spike's ass and then he started to thrust and Spike just gave in, gave up - put his calves over Xander's shoulders and pulled him close and kissed him breathless. The salt-anise taste of Xander's skin was like a drug and Spike licked his throat and collarbones - licked his chest and jaw and kissed him again and again, clenching around the bar of solid heat that was sending him to Nirvana.
"Right? Is this right?" Xander gasped, angling his hips a little, hitting that spot and Spike felt the demon rise, snarling and open-mouthed. Heard Xander's heart skitter-thump and then pound faster.
"Yeah, there, there - gods you're lovely, so lovely pet, so fuckin' good - hard as you like pet, god...Xander, Xander..." *Babbling like a fool and fuckin' LOOK at him, like a fuckin' angel, like... oh yes, oh there...*
"Spike - sssss...Spike!" Xander's pounding rhythm suddenly tripped and fumbled and re-doubled and Xander's skin was gooseflesh and his eyes were wide and unseeing and Spike felt the pulse of him inside his body - felt the sudden, extra swelling and the jet of liquid heat and he roared, lifting his hips as best he could, fingers scrabbling at the sheets and then at Xander's ribs and back and Xander's hand was on his cock, stroking hard and rough and fuck...
It was ten minutes, recovering from that, and Spike let his mouth move in lazy circles over Xander's shoulder and bicep - over his throat. The weight on him was pleasant, as was the warm throb of battered muscle between his legs and when Xander finally slipped free of him they both sighed.
"Spike...want you to do that to me. Next time, do that to me. You looked -" Xander lifted his head, flushed and sweaty, and his eyes were full of laughter and awe. "You looked like you were in heaven or... Or something."
"Or something, pet. I can do that for you, Xan. I can do that no problem." Spike smiled and put his arms around Xander's body - rolled them on their sides and snuggled the boy under his chin, one leg possessively over Xander's and his arms tight around him. "Gonna be good, pet. Me and you, it's gonna be good."
He could feel Xander smiling into his chest, and he smiled himself and drifted slowly into sleep, counting heartbeats.
And yes, there will be more! I'm not sure how much more, but more for sure.
Re: *flails*
Re: *flails*
If you say so.
Re: *flails*