(no subject)

[tabaqui]

Hullo, flist.
Some of you might know that my dad has been ill for a bit. Not bad, but not feeling his best. He was in the ICU over the weekend, the latest in a series of hospital visits to try and figure out the infection that was dragging him down so hard.

I went up with the Monstrous to visit on Saturday, and early Sunday afternoon, my dad died. On one hand, i feel lucky because i was *there*. I held his hand, and the rest of my family was all around, and we talked to him and told him how much we loved him and we were *there* when he breathed out and didn't breathe back in again.

But on the other hand...my dad is dead. My lovely, loving, wonderful dad...

I'll be around, because i need something to take my mind off things, but i have no idea how chatty i'll be.

Ms. Millay says it exactly, exactly right.



I am not resigned to the shutting away of loving hearts in the hard ground.
So it is, and so it will be, for so it has been, time out of mind:
Into the darkness they go, the wise and the lovely. Crowned
With lilies and with laurel they go; but I am not resigned.
Lovers and thinkers, into the earth with you.
Be one with the dull, the indiscriminate dust.
A fragment of what you felt, of what you knew,
A formula, a phrase remains,--but the best is lost.
The answers quick and keen, the honest look, the laughter, the love, --
They are gone. They are gone to feed the roses. Elegant and curled
Is the blossom. Fragrant is the blossom. I know. But I do not approve.
More precious was the light in your eyes than all the roses in the world.
Down, down, down into the darkness of the grave,
Gently they go, the beautiful, the tender, the kind;
Quietly they go, the intelligent, the witty, the brave.
I know. But I do not approve. And I am not resigned.

Dirge Without Music - Edna St. Vincent Millay

Comments

[ignipes.livejournal.com]

Oh, honey. I'm so sorry. *hugs*

[idyll.livejournal.com]

I'm so very sorry for your loss. *hugs*

[beadattitude.livejournal.com]

Oh, sweetheart, I've been where you are, and I know how hard it is. ::big hugs::

[fodian.livejournal.com]

Oh, honey. I am so incredibly sorry. Please let me know if there is *anything* I can do to distract or comfort you.

That's a beautiful poem. Thank you for sharing it.

[liz-marcs.livejournal.com]

I'm so very sorry for your loss. ((hugs}}

[julia-here.livejournal.com]

Oh, darlin', so very sorry for our loss.

Julia, no good words to express how sorry

[twilightofmagic.livejournal.com]

I'm so sorry, Tabaqui. ::big, big hug:: I lost my father 3 years ago and feel for your loss. But you were there. That's important.

[spuzz.livejournal.com]

I'm so sorry for you loss. My heart is with you and your family. Many many hugs.

[lynnenne]

Oh, honey. I'm so very, very sorry. My condolences to you and the rest of your family. *hugs hugs*

[lostakasha.livejournal.com]

Oh, Tabi... my heart breaks for you. I'm sorry that your dad endured a long illness, and so sorry for your loss. Just about a year ago I was dealing with my dad's death, and but the best is lost, for sure. *hugs*

[greenstone-j.livejournal.com]

*hugs* I'll be thinking of you, I'm srry that you lost someone so precious *hugs again*

[cityphonelines.livejournal.com]

My deepest, deepest condolences. You and yours are in my thoughts and prayers. Anything you need, you shoot me an email you got it?

*hugs*

[entrenous88.livejournal.com]

Oh, I'm so sorry for your loss, but glad you were able to see him at the last.

[felisblanco.livejournal.com]

Oh sweetie, I am so sorry. *hugs you very very hard*

[jillapet.livejournal.com]

I'm so sorry, baby. I will pray for him and you all, k?

*hugs you tight*

[ahestele.livejournal.com]

*hugs you tight*

I'm so sorry Tabby. My thoughts are with you.

[lemmypie.livejournal.com]

I just want you to know that you are in my thoughts....

[stoney321.livejournal.com]

Oh, dear. I am so, so sorry for your loss. My condolences to you and your family. Know that your friends will do whatever we can to help you through this!

*bone creaky hugs*

[iadorespike]

I am so, so sorry for your loss.

*hugs you gently*

[altyronsmaker.livejournal.com]

OMG. Tabi, I'm so sorry! I remember the post you made about him on Father's Day, and how so very moving it was. Such a great post with so much love infused in it. So sorry to hear that he's gone. I'm sending you much love and condolences.

The last scud of the day holds back for me,
It flings my likeness after the rest and true as any on the shadow'd wilds,
It coaxes me to the vapor and the dusk.

I depart as air, I shake my white locks at the runaway sun,
I effuse my flesh in eddies, and drift it in lacy jags.

I bequeath myself to the dirt to grow from the grass I love,
If you want me again look for me under your boot-soles.

You will hardly know who I am or what I mean,
But I shall be good health to you nevertheless,
And filter and fibre your blood.

Failing to fetch me at first keep engouraged,
Missing me one place search another,
I stop somewhere waiting for you.
Song of Myself - 52
Walt Whitman

[mickeym.livejournal.com]

I'm so sorry for your loss :( I hope your memories of him give you and your family some measure of comfort. *hugs*

[ruric.livejournal.com]

*hugs* I am so very sorry. You and your family are in my thoughts.

[innie_darling]

I am so sorry.

I am so sorry

[mustangsally78.livejournal.com]

He sounds like he was a wonderful person and I know this must terrible for you.

My heart goes out to you.

:::hugs:::

Sal

[savoytruffle.livejournal.com]

*hugs* my thoughts are with you and your family. i'm glad that you at least got to be there with him.