Changes Update!

[tabaqui]

Hallo, here we go.
Early, why not?

Okay...just so everybody knows... I'm not going to post a 'Changes' on Xmas weekend. That whole week and weekend i'm not going to be around much. My mum is having knee surgery and Cat's family is huge and varied and we'll be running all over. So, the next Changes update will be on January 2nd.

There WILL be a 'Credence' update in there, though, and an 'Ice' update, as well, and possibly 'Little Runaway'. But those are all 'deadline free' and won't stress me like 'Changes' does. Plus, next chapter is gonna be FUN!
:)

And no, i am NOT intentionally stringing this out as long as i can - i hope nobody thinks i'm dragging the year out too long. This just feels right...got stuff to say, you know? *No, haven't been accused or anything, just had a thought...* :)

Anyway, here's the chapter, watch this space, and....
A huge, sloppy kiss and hard, hard hug to roxymissrose for gifting me with more paid LJ time! And for sending me beautiful art and the Monstrous Bebe pressies!!
She's the best and we luuuuuurve her, yes we do.
*kiss kiss*

Chapter 32: Retreat

Comments

[amejisuto.livejournal.com]

**sniff**

Yes, crying again. You turn me into the biggest sap. This is going great, don't worry about the pacing. It has to be hard on Xander and while I know it'll be okay this ache for Xander and Spike is painful and just right.

Great job luv, really great. Glad I bought kleenexes.

[tabaqui]

Oooh!
Sorry!
*kinda*
:)

Thank you thank you!

[cleeaz.livejournal.com]

Beautiful as usual - love the wood carving - wonder what Spike will think Cindy Lee

[tabaqui]

Thank you!
I think he'll like it, don't you?
:)

[julia-here.livejournal.com]

What I like best, of this part, is the connection between Xander's physicality, as an artist, and his love for Spike; it makes me itch to make something, pull out the dremels and the alder planks and make a carved sign, or find some copper wire and twist it into a line scupture... to feel something HAPPEN in something other than the medium of words.

So, yeah, communicates that feeling very well, it does.

Julia, {sigh} two weeks? alas.

[tabaqui]

Yeah.
*sigh*
Me too - i wanna make stuff, get my hands dirty!
Blah.
*house too small*

And thank you.
Yes, so sorry, two weeks. But other stuff in between!
:)

[chriself.livejournal.com]

Makes me wish I were an artist, to be able to translate feeling into matter, and so sad that Xander is clutching at his creations in lieu (i love that word) or his link to Spike.

I hope Derio and Oz can talk some sense into him about the guilt thing though.

Have a great Holiday!
chris

[tabaqui]

Yeah, me too! No 3-D for me...

Thank you, you have a lovely holiday too!

[reremouse.livejournal.com]

Yes, yes, yes! It's all worth the wait with Changes. I still love the manifestation of Xander's physical loss and need in this chapter. Painfully good in the very pretty and intense way.

There WILL be a 'Credence' update in there, though, and an 'Ice' update, as well, and possibly 'Little Runaway'.

You so know how to make me happy!

[tabaqui]

Thank you so much!

You so know how to make me happy!

I do my best!

[kk-d.livejournal.com]

*whimpers* *has gone teary-eyed* you mean we have to wait till january till we get more *pouts and whimpers and cries more*

so beautiful, sad and painful but bittersweet.... *sniffles*

very emotive.

*hugs n kisses and glomps* a really amazing read, even if it did have me in tears.

Kk

[tabaqui]

Awwwww......
Kleenex for yu-hooo!
*pets*

Thank you, bay-bee.

[umbralillium.livejournal.com]

*purrs* Lovely chapter, tabaqui! You always seem to get the emotions across perfectly. *pets Xander* Poor baby.

[tabaqui]

Thank you thank you!
:)

[shighola.livejournal.com]

*wipes tears from eyes*
'S good.
yeah.

[tabaqui]

Ooh!
*kleenex*
Thank you, sweetie.
:)

[chocgood84.livejournal.com]

Well the usual great chapter speech is in order:)

But also, I'm loving that Xander is doing the carving...so much emotion put into them and I can completely follow his logic of hands-on, having a small piece of Spike with him all the time. It's pretty and hurty and awe-worth all at the same time.

Lovely, darlin, simply lovely.

[tabaqui]

Hehe.
Thank you, bay-bee.
Thank you so much.

[riani1.livejournal.com]

I'm desperately afraid that what Spike's been going through will make Xander taking comfort from the pack look like "Oh, you had soup for lunch instead of a sandwich" in comparison. I'm pretty sure the guilt will all be Xander's.

Over halfway done with the year. Now I can begin to dread what will happen next.

[tabaqui]

Poor Xander...guilt is such a waste of energy.

Ack! Why dread? Do you think i'm so evol as all that?
:)

[riani1.livejournal.com]

The journey may end somewhere good, but it can still be a hellacious trip.

[tabaqui]

Well, that's so.
:)
I'm afraid my ending may be terribly transparent, but it's what i'm gonna write.
Heh.

[roxymissrose.livejournal.com]

I love you, but you know that--so why you hurt me like this, i don't know.
It's so bizarre to be hot and crying too, and yet you managed. Xander's sorrow is like a heavy weight,it's amazing he didn't drive the wolves insane with it. Poor thing.And he won't let himself enjoy any part of life until Spike returns and the thought of Spike returning makes me more afraid than happy. I'm afraid that Spike will be changed in a bad way. I hope not- I console myself with the thought that you're not an evol bitca like that damn Roxy. *G*

[tabaqui]

Oooh, Miz Rose!!!
*pet pet pet*

No, not evol, not me, not at all.
:)
I love my bois! It'll all be okay!!
*pet pet pet*

[sufie58.livejournal.com]

I loved this chapter. Xander's sense of loss is almost tangible. I'm so glad he was able to find solace with the wolves. It's the not knowing what's happening with Spike that's getting to me so while I'm not looking forward to the 2 week wait, I am looking forward to the next bit. Thank you and I hope you and yours have a Merry Christmas and a Guid New Year.

[tabaqui]

Thank you thank you!
And a Happy Holidays to you, too.

[nashmaveric.livejournal.com]

Throat hurts from trying not to cry. ::sigh:: Dunn what else to say. Just...hurts.

[tabaqui]

*pet pet pet*

Thanks, babes.

[fanbot.livejournal.com]

I can just see the staute of William and the house... dream house *sigh*
I'm glad he's let the wolves comfort him. I think Spike would be mad if he lived without too much.
Have some happy holidays!

[tabaqui]

Yeah. Dream house for sure.
*sigh*

Thank you so much!
Happy Holidays to you, too.

[rune-vampyr.livejournal.com]

Oh, I do love this fic. So beautifully written; lyrical, emotive, tangible ... I feel like I'm *in* the story somehow, like I know them personally and ... god, you know I really do ache along with them.

Just reading it, sympathizing with Xander, makes me want to make or write something as beautiful as his carvings.

Sorry that it won't be updated again until the New Year, but I understand that of course you have an actual *life* to be going on with ;)

I hope that your mum's surgery goes ok, and I'll take this opportunity to wish you and yours a very happy and peaceful holiday :)

Thanks for sharing your wonderful story - I look forward to more reading in the New Year.

[tabaqui]

Thank you so much! I love that his creativity is inspirational - i get the same feeling when i read about creative people, too!

Whoo! A life! Who'da thunk it?

And a lovely holiday to you, too! I'll pass your good wishes along.

[taruma16.livejournal.com]

A beautiful bittersweet chapter!! Personally I don`t think you`re dragging this year out. This way I as a reader am right with Xander, his loss, his loneliness, even if it hurts so much!

[tabaqui]

Thank you so much!
And i'm glad to hear it - i didn't want to seem tooo evol.
:)

[anelith.livejournal.com]

Beautiful chapter, you can almost make me see the statues in my head. It seems right to me that the year goes on for a bit, because it must seem like forever for Xander (and 7 times forever for Spike, of course). And hey, the two weeks your readers must wait for the next chapter will only add to the feeling of sympathy for Xander's plight, right?

I'm amazed that you'll be able to do any writing at all with the busyness that it sounds like you have going on at the moment. Please take it easy on yourself and don't stress, good luck to your mother.

[tabaqui]

Yes! It's an exercise in empathy!
*ahem*
Thank you for the good wishes, i'll pass them along!

[brandil.livejournal.com]

Ack! The pain, the angst, the beautiful lyrical writing. You made me cry! ::sniffs::

[tabaqui]

Ooh! I'm sorry!
*in a giddy way, of course*
:)
*pets*

Thank you!

[cloudiecat.livejournal.com]

*sniffle* More heart-wrenchiness. So sad for Xander trying to control his need for the intimate touch that he can't get from Spike - and the terrible guilt he feels for wanting it, and then getting it with Oz and Derio.

Another beautifully touching and sad chapter. Will miss this over Christmas but glad to hear there'll be updates on your other fics. Have a lovely Christmas Tabaqui:-)

cloudie

[tabaqui]

Thank you so much! That would be the hardest part of this forced seperation, considering how 'touchy feely' they were...

And thank you for the good wishes - a very Happy Holidays to you too!

[darkhavens.livejournal.com]

You made me cry again! Poor Xander, hurting so much, so lonely and so frustrated. And now, of course, so guilty. Beautifully crafted, as always, sweetie. And those carvings... I'd love to be able to see them. ;o)

Changes

[(Anonymous)]

I think the timing is perfect. I have a couple of scenarios in my head on how it may play out or how I picture Spike's side of things. I can't wait to see how far off the mark I am or not.

Poor Xander, you sure convey emotion so well! Enjoy your holiday and we'll all be looking for more in the New Year!

se_maj65 (Terry)
~not looking forward to this story ending... :(

Re: Changes

[tabaqui]

Hey!!
Thanks!
:)
It's gonna be pretty weird for it to end for me, too.

[tabaqui]

Ack!
*pet pet*

Thank you, bay-bee.
I wish i could see the carvings, too. I mean - not just the ones in my HEAD.
Hehe.

[cityphonelines.livejournal.com]

You're doing this so beautifully. My heart hurts and my tummy's all floppy! I want to hug Xander and protect him and soothe him so badly. And I miss Spike and I'm so curious about how it is for him where he is. Gorgeously written.

[tabaqui]

Ooh!
Sorry!
But thank you, too - so glad you like!!

[tsavoritegarnet.livejournal.com]

*sigh* :-) And I've only read a quarter of it so far.

[tsavoritegarnet.livejournal.com]

Okay, done now. Still *sigh*. Beautiful overall. I'm wondering a lot about Spike, what he's doing, feeling, going through. And I'm so sad that they have to be lonely. The time is past half way up now at least!

[tabaqui]

Thank you!
Yup - nearly over, nearly done.
:)