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I swore these off, but who could resist Bettie??
Nobody, of course.
Gakked from![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
roxymissrose
You're Bettie Page!
What Classic Pin-Up Are You?
brought to you by Quizilla
Nobody, of course.
Gakked from
roxymissroseYou're Bettie Page!
What Classic Pin-Up Are You?
brought to you by Quizilla
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Lucky me, if I ever feel the need for seaside discipline.
Umm,smell that sea air...YOWCH! Thank you.
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*giggles rampantly*
*brews more coffee*
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Bettie rocks.
*you're my pr0n twin*!
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Gotta keep the lube out of the sand.
*or maybe not*
MUWAAAAAhahahhahahahahahhaa.
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That means incest is inevitable, right?
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Now you, me, and
BWAAAhahhahaa.
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Practically unstopable!!
BWAAAAAAAhahahhaa.
And a threesome to boot, 'cause
*bounce*
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There may have to be a con for this.
Bettiesisters incesticon.
Okay, now that just sounds wrong.
Hee.
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Betties Unite!!
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I'll bring the toys. Who's gonna spring for the lube? ;o)
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as GRRRLS...we shouldn't need much.
But i'll find some yummy Hemp oil!
Whoot!
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Don't worry, I'll bring it.
Are we going to need batteries?
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And I just noticed your icon. Straight up evil Spike for me too, please.
You know that should actually be a drink.
We'll invent it.
At the Incesticon.
*ponders*
JD and...
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Stunt pelvis? ::is intrigued::
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Whooot!
I lurve it.
Ummm...i know NOTHING about alcohol.
JD and O pos!
BWAAAAAAAhahhahaaahha.
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Oooh - this is getting DIRTY!
*bounce*
Stunt Pelvis
My most consistent partner's husband came up with the term 'stunt pelvis' which just stuck. Hee. Because really that's what we were.
The most important part of the pelvic exam was making sure the students could find, visualize, and identify the cervical os. Which sometimes meant multiple insertions of the speculum and assuring the students that they weren't hurting us. The idea was to have trained women (not necessarily in the medical profession, though there were a few in the program) teach the basic procedure, in order to give real live feedback. "You're not using enough pressure... you need to manipulate the tissue enough that you would feel any mass between the skin and the chest wall." "Don't rest your hand on my elbow, that feels restrictive." "Use a firm, sure touch, don't dither around too much." "Avoid the clitoris after the initial visual check." "You need to lean in more, or you won't feel the cervix... yeah it feels sort of like the tip of your nose." "Do not remove the speculum while it's still locked open, that -does- hurt." Those sorts of things. Strange, interesting, rewarding and exhausting. I'll probably do it again next year.
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Re: Stunt Pelvis
Actually that's a damn good idea. I've had pelvics from people who I swear have no knowledge of female anatomy! (And yes, before you ask, they were supposed to have that knowledge. ;op)
Go you!
Re: Stunt Pelvis
I'm sorry, that just makes me laugh and cringe at the same time.
I don't mind gettng my annual pelvic, but not five or six or whatever all damn day.
Gah.
I have a funny pelvis and the speculum HURTS like a bitch when done wrong. And they ALWAYS do it wrong, and then poke and prod and wiggle and screw around while i'm going 'Ah! Damnit! That hurts!' and they look at me like i'm a dork.
Grrrrrrrr.
Interesting thing to do. :)
Re: Stunt Pelvis
And thanks... I'm pretty proud of that work.
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Not as hot as it could be.
:)
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If you want, I could tell you how it's supposed to be done and you could give them a tutorial. *winks* There is a way to do it where they don't move the damn thing all over the place. I wish I could tell them: 'For fuck's sake if you can't visualize the os on the first time, reinsert - it's much less painful for ME, the paying patient, than if you start angling around and rotating trying to find the damn thing.' And I will if I ever have an idiot examiner again. Go to a good women's clinic if there's one about.
Also, cramping from an exam is SOOo not uncommon. Depending on where in my cycle I was, I would take ibuprofen before the session. It helps.
Look at me teach. :P
I kind of wish that women would learn how it's supposed to be done, so they can complain when it's done badly.
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Re: Stunt Pelvis
I don't get cramps, it's just - my cervix is RIGHT THERE and they tend to bash it with a the speculum a LOT and jesus christ that hurts!
It's just - low, or something. Easy to find but also easy to poke.
I just hate when the speculum isn't quite right and they just prod around like it's not made of steel and i'm not made of meat!
Grrrrrrrrr.
I only go to female gynos, now, or planned parenthood. No more male anything for me down there! Learned my lesson.
And i may not have the vocabulary, but when it hurts i TELL them. Loudly.
I have NO problems with that. :)
I'll take any advice/knowledge you have to give, though, 'cause anything to make it easier is fine by me!
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It was!
:)
Re: Stunt Pelvis
This may be more than you want to know but here are some ideas:
If your vaginal canal is that short they should really be trying/using a pediatric speculum (shorter and more narrow bills). This only works in certain scenarios, but I'd rather see an attempt made with that then to be bashing into you all the time.
Ask them to do the bimanual (where they insert fingers and check for cervical placement and ovaries) first, so that they'll have a better idea of your anatomy before they go in blindly (which is pretty much the deal) with the speculum. The bimanual is often done following the speculum exam, for various reasons, but that isn't a pat rule, and as long as they don't use lube for it (which might be a tad uncomfortable), it shouldn't make a difference.
Also, if right after the insertion of the speculum you don't feel pressure and a little stretching, they may not be pulling down (toward the floor) enough, which is often why they start moving around and looking for the os. The pull down is essential (to get the right placement before opening the bills) for visualization of the os, and thus sample taking.
If you have a tilted cervix, as well as a short canal, then some shifting may be necessary. But if you can figure that out (gently, hopefully) and remember to tell each new doctor you may cut some of the search and seizure off at the pass. The more you know...
Ask for a mirror - it might give you a better idea of what's going on and is more likely to make them take their time and be a little more cautious, because you're watching. If the light is right you can even get to see the os, which is pretty cool if you're not squeamish. Mucus is weird the first time you see it. Is that TMI?
Wow. I retained A LOT. *struts*
*winks* Hope it helps.
Re: Stunt Pelvis
Don't want your private stuff more public than it already is, if you're not cool with that.
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Have to go back and review when i go in for my next pelvic. Which, really, should be as soon as i'm done 'being a woman' 'cause...it's that time.
:)
Thanks so much!
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I don't care. Not like i wouldn't discuss this in person - and not like i HAVEN'T, hehhe. I'm pretty much over TMI with my own personal stuff... I have no shame, and precious few squicks.
:)
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By the way? We Bridgettes are declarin' war on the Betties...
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Yup.
That's what LiveJournal is all about!!
War.
WAR?
But - but - we're having BeachBlanketKinkBingo!
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We have toys!
Whooot!
You know, SEX toys.
*nudge nudge*
And...the war will be fought...NUDE!
In a vat of JELLO!
Heee.
Hey, i just posted a bit of an open-tag story here:
http://www.livejournal.com/community/svfic/9706.html
You might like it.
:)
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Nude jello wrestling!?!? *gasp* My fantasy come true!!!! What flavor?
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Heee!
Ummmm....Black Cherry? (my personal favorite)
Whoot!
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:)
I make it with Northland Cranberry-grape juice instead of water, sooooooo lovely and tangy. :)
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