It's true, you are defined a *lot* by your parent*s*, your family, all that. But i think *this* John knows that if he screws up - if he puts Sam or Dean in danger, they *will* turn on him. They won't tolerate it. He has, in a way, created a monster.
It's not a *conscious* thing. It's not like he's all paranoid. But he knows when to push being 'the leader' and when not to. Knows when to give them some space.
This John *does* love his sons, so much. Loves them to distraction, would do anything to protect them. Is proud of them, incredibly proud. I have some aftermath of the demon's dying that i wrote but i've decided not to go with it since it was Dean pov and really wasn't working.
He's obsessed, but he loves his sons. They'll do anything for him, but the family - the pack - comes first. Always.
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It's not a *conscious* thing. It's not like he's all paranoid. But he knows when to push being 'the leader' and when not to. Knows when to give them some space.
This John *does* love his sons, so much. Loves them to distraction, would do anything to protect them. Is proud of them, incredibly proud. I have some aftermath of the demon's dying that i wrote but i've decided not to go with it since it was Dean pov and really wasn't working.
He's obsessed, but he loves his sons. They'll do anything for him, but the family - the pack - comes first. Always.