1. Firstly, I love how very real you make Efram. The little details about his life, right from the get-go – the not needing much sleep, the compasses – just tell so much about his character in so few words. And it’s such a normal thing to do, for people who mostly sit at home all day, to collect something and have to restrict oneself on ebay. I know, because my mum is exactly the same with kimonos. He’s just so real.
2. I also love the way you create this entire community, again with a few words, and it’s clear how Efram fits into it and that he’s a pillar and has been for a long time.
3. The description of the night and the sounds was so very vivid, I could almost smell the air.
4. “You the doc?" Voice hoarse and raw, low. Not shaky at all.
I love that detail about Dean’s voice not shaking, even though his hand is. It goes so well with the later scene where Sam is completely alert even though he’s badly hurt. It just says so much about these boys, the way they’ve grown up, that they can make themselves stay on the ball even when everything’s gone to hell in a handbasket.
5. I was wondering which brother was going to be the hurt one, but I kind of love that I guessed right. Even before we knew, it seemed totally clear from the way they were acting which one was Sam and which was Dean, even though they’re not the same as they are in canon, and even though you didn’t have them say very much. Awesome.
6. the tiny, animal noises of pain that every step wrung from the hurt man
Apart from the Sam-whumpage – which obviously pushes all my buttons – I love the use of the word “animal” here, to remind us of the feral nature of these Winchesters.
7. the man shooting Efram a look of pure venom as he laid his brother down onto the scarred wood. The hurt man's long legs hung off the table, muddy boots leaving streaks on the faded green and cream linoleum. He moaned softly, his hands pawing clumsily at his brother, who patted him absently.
I love this juxtaposition of how hostile Dean is to Efram – the man who he needs to help his brother, and a man who clearly is hardly in a position to hurt them, but Dean obviously is incapable of trusting anyone but his own family – and how gentle and affectionate -- absent-mindedly affectionate – he is towards Sam. Also, I loved the image of barely-conscious!Sam trying to keep contact with Dean. *draws hearts*
8. The couch and computer were pretty safe territory, unless you counted the time he'd dropped his steak knife right onto his little toe, skewering it to the sole of his scuff.
Details, perfect little details.
9. Free hand knotted in the hurt man's shirt, holding him still.
Again, I love this need for contact. Oh, boys.
10. "Is he – is he blind?" the other man – older brother – asked, his voice cracking a little, and Efram glanced up at him. At the tightly-leashed panic and bloodshot, exhausted eyes.
The tiny signs of cracks in Dean’s armour make me shiver. And how tightly he’s controlling himself. I love that Efram can see past his hostility to how scared he is underneath.
11. I also kinda love how calm Efram is through the whole thing, this poor old guy who’s having a gun waved in his face in the middle of the night. He treats SamnDean like you would a wounded animal, and that’s exactly what they are.
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2. I also love the way you create this entire community, again with a few words, and it’s clear how Efram fits into it and that he’s a pillar and has been for a long time.
3. The description of the night and the sounds was so very vivid, I could almost smell the air.
4. “You the doc?" Voice hoarse and raw, low. Not shaky at all.
I love that detail about Dean’s voice not shaking, even though his hand is. It goes so well with the later scene where Sam is completely alert even though he’s badly hurt. It just says so much about these boys, the way they’ve grown up, that they can make themselves stay on the ball even when everything’s gone to hell in a handbasket.
5. I was wondering which brother was going to be the hurt one, but I kind of love that I guessed right. Even before we knew, it seemed totally clear from the way they were acting which one was Sam and which was Dean, even though they’re not the same as they are in canon, and even though you didn’t have them say very much. Awesome.
6. the tiny, animal noises of pain that every step wrung from the hurt man
Apart from the Sam-whumpage – which obviously pushes all my buttons – I love the use of the word “animal” here, to remind us of the feral nature of these Winchesters.
7. the man shooting Efram a look of pure venom as he laid his brother down onto the scarred wood. The hurt man's long legs hung off the table, muddy boots leaving streaks on the faded green and cream linoleum. He moaned softly, his hands pawing clumsily at his brother, who patted him absently.
I love this juxtaposition of how hostile Dean is to Efram – the man who he needs to help his brother, and a man who clearly is hardly in a position to hurt them, but Dean obviously is incapable of trusting anyone but his own family – and how gentle and affectionate -- absent-mindedly affectionate – he is towards Sam. Also, I loved the image of barely-conscious!Sam trying to keep contact with Dean. *draws hearts*
8. The couch and computer were pretty safe territory, unless you counted the time he'd dropped his steak knife right onto his little toe, skewering it to the sole of his scuff.
Details, perfect little details.
9. Free hand knotted in the hurt man's shirt, holding him still.
Again, I love this need for contact. Oh, boys.
10. "Is he – is he blind?" the other man – older brother – asked, his voice cracking a little, and Efram glanced up at him. At the tightly-leashed panic and bloodshot, exhausted eyes.
The tiny signs of cracks in Dean’s armour make me shiver. And how tightly he’s controlling himself. I love that Efram can see past his hostility to how scared he is underneath.
11. I also kinda love how calm Efram is through the whole thing, this poor old guy who’s having a gun waved in his face in the middle of the night. He treats SamnDean like you would a wounded animal, and that’s exactly what they are.